As I have become a blog owner only recently, I can comment as both, a blog writer and reader.
As a reader, I don't see a reason why someone shouldn't link to a quality website. In fact, I am for
external linking.
When a blog post is interesting, provides me with food for thought or with useful information, I can only welcome it. If it also offes me a tool or a product, to help me with it, why not. It just doesn't have to look like an ad. It has to be natural.
As a blog owner, I can say for sure: I'll only link to something I can recommend to my readers. In fact, I link out pretty extensively and I don't see a problem.
Now to the marketing point of view.
To get links from bloggers, you need to create content that is relevant and useful for the bloggers and/or their audience. This can be anything, depending on the industry.
Also, to get a link from a blogger (or a mention in a blog post), you can simply email the blogger and suggest him/her a new source of information, or an interesting product. But read his/her blog first, understand the style, the content and see if your site/product fits the blog. If not, try finding another.
Even finding 2-3 blogs that suit your product very well is some good luck here, I believe.
Did I say you don't have to pay for such mentions? Of course, though, you can offer a monetary incentive, if you get a refusal, but that's another story.
Also, instead of trying to buy your way to the top of the search engines and to win your customers hearts, you need to
create quality content. It is very easily linked to, talked about and converts much better than anything.
Also, I'd advise optimizing your site
for the humans, as well as using
natural promotion methods. As the methods are built around providing value, they can only do good both for your customers, the middle-website and you.