Thank you everyone.
I ran my IP through the MXtoolbox site. Everything came back as okay (green) except for a few that timed out, which isn't my problem.
As I said before, I'm on my own VPS with 4 dedicated IPs. The only thing that's sending mail off my server is two vBulletin boards. Neither I nor anyone who has accounts on my server are using it's STMP.
My main concern is email notices getting lost. I realize the black list has nothing to do with the internet but I don't spam, I cannot understand how I would get on a black list.
I should note, AOL black listed me for a brief period, I hymn and hawed with them and got unblacklisted.
I guess my main problem is I just don't get it, the only thing sending mail is vBulletin everything is opt in and email notice control is in the users hands.