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You don't have to use the double opt-in feature necessarily, you can turn it off if used through a web form.
I believe you will have to use double opt-in on the "send a blank message to this address to subscribe" subscriptions but i'm not 100% sure about that.
Also, you can change the "Thank You" page to be your own url. So, once someone submits their details they could be taken to a page that says something like "PLEASE CONFIRM - To get the information you're anxiously awaiting you need to confirm your subscription to our e-zine/newsletter/etc - this is as simple as clicking a link in an e-mail that has probably already been sent to your inbox. This helps us make sure someone isn't signing you up against your wishes!"
I agree with Jesse that the customers who do double opt-in are probably more likely to be receptive to your messages. It's hard to tell how much of the 40% you lose, this is not a concrete number either, would actually have any value going forward. You could reach some of the 40%, for sure though.
One thing to consider if you DO decide to go with a dedicated server is that a) you will be the one running it, so make sure you have the appropriate skills to manage a server or can hire someone that can. b) check with the hosting provider first to make sure they allow mass e-mail messages. A lot of providers are getting away from allowing that because of all the problems it creates for the rest of their customers. One bad apple spoils the bunch, ya know...
As far as best bang for the buck scenarios, you can't beat Aweber. $20/mo for up to 10,000 leads vs at LEAST $80/mo for a good dedicated server.
Just my two cents,
Brandon
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