Online dating- after how many weeks do you meet the person after chatting online?

shahab6 · 10-08-2007, 09:49 PM

I replied to this girls ad online, and she replied back. We exchanged e-mails for a few weeks, I asked her lets meet for coffee. At first she said am sick, maybe sometimes once I get better. So we exchanged more e-mails for two weeks. I asked her again lets meet, she said let's talk over the phone first. I called her, but over the phone we didn say much to each other. Do you think I should continue exchanging e-mail with her or I should move on? As it seems that she doesn't want to meet and I'm not looking for in a pen-pal. Also people who have done this, after how weeks did you meet? As it's different when you meet someone face to face then when you e-mail them or chat online

Domestic Diva · 10-09-2007, 05:16 AM

I have to admit, I don't know anything about the online dating world.....but, if I were in it, I'd be extremely cautious. I'd wait at least 6 months before meeting.....and that's only after you've done an extensive background check on her....and you have written proof that she's disease free.

(yeah, I know, I'm so romantic)

kristeejo · 10-09-2007, 07:44 AM

You can't get a disease from having coffee. : ) I see nothing wrong with setting up a coffee "date," but would be concerned that she was dodging it. Many times people misrepresent themselves online.

Julie · 10-09-2007, 07:51 AM

It's not something I do, but I think that it's reasonable enough to put it off for a few weeks... especially with all the liars and crazy people online. I mean, I'm sorry, but if I was going to look into online dating, no way would I meet someone after just 2 weeks, unless I knew other people who knew them in real life and knew they were normal. Call me crazy, but that's just me.

StrongInTheArm · 10-09-2007, 07:54 AM

I agree, she is probably a bloke and does not know how to tell you.

She is being evasive, which means she is hiding something. It might be something innocent but then again it might not be, you do not know and unless she tells you, your relationship with this person cannot progress.

If you think she is worth it, try exploring the issue with her and find out what the problem is. If she is not forthcoming with an explanation, I would conclude that she is hiding something and not wish to have anything more to do with her.

**G10** · 10-09-2007, 07:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by StrongInTheArm

I agree, she is probably a bloke and does not know how to tell you.

Actually that is a toughie as I have been wondering how to tell people that for years!

Domestic Diva · 10-09-2007, 08:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kristeejo

You can't get a disease from having coffee. : ) I see nothing wrong with setting up a coffee "date," but would be concerned that she was dodging it. Many times people misrepresent themselves online.

True, true, true!

Quote:

Originally Posted by StrongInTheArm

I agree, she is probably a bloke and does not know how to tell you.

Quote:

Originally Posted by G10

Actually that is a toughie as I have been wondering how to tell people that for years!

So, you are actually a bloke? Damn! I never would have guessed!

chicgeek · 10-09-2007, 03:22 PM

There's no set time. In my experience it's ranged from 2 months (a guy I dated for 8 months) to 2 years (a guy I dated for a year and a half).

And no matter how well some might get on through services or messaging or email, none of that matters in a real relationship until you meet. Everything up until the coffee is just essentially screening someone to see if they're "safe to try", I guess...?

swiftmed · 10-09-2007, 07:24 PM

i never expected to meet anybody offline, but ive had 2 relationships with people offline. i met one within 3 days of knowing her online, the other i known her online for approx 4 months.

Kymberly · 10-10-2007, 07:11 AM

The first day I was connected to the internet I met a man from Sweden (on the internet.)

Basically I was playing with the internet and it's vast capabilities. Please don't get confused. I was not toying with people.

I chatted to a man for one month and wondered why such a lovely person was single and why he had to be on the other side of the world.

He was going to the US and I knew I would probably loose contact with him.

One day I bit the bullet and told him how lovely I thought he was.

Long story short. He turned in his tickets to the U.S and came here instead.

We have been married for 7 years now.

And I can speak Swedish!

For me it was a feeling, even before I met him. There was a feeling in me like something big was on the way, a stirring if you will.

I guess, you just have to listen to your feelings re the person you speak with.

If you hit it off and they want to meet, choose a public place and 'grab the bull by the horns'. Life goes by so quickly. Every experience is another page in your book, another adventure, be it good or bad. Not all experiences have a happy ending, but you grow and learn.

I wouldn't miss out on anything that popped up. Life is way too short.

Good luck.

StrongInTheArm · 10-10-2007, 09:19 AM

Well you know what they say about Swedish men?

That was how we would all like it to work, but for most I would say that is not the case. But not trying means not succeeding as well as not failing.

What a load of rubbish I write sometimes.

ewomack · 10-10-2007, 10:40 AM

To cut to the chase: this "encounter" sounds like a dud. Not everyone is talky on the phone, but if she's evading you in person something is up.

Or it could be G10!!!

shahab6 · 10-10-2007, 06:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chicgeek

And no matter how well some might get on through services or messaging or email, none of that matters in a real relationship until you meet. Everything up until the coffee is just essentially screening someone to see if they're "safe to try", I guess...?

Exactly thats what I believe too, thats why you have too meet. But anyway I moved on to the next person.