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Old 12-03-2009, 01:49 PM
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The New Obama Plan For Older People...

Another email someone sent me, author unknown. Please don't take this too seriously. It is not included in the health reform bills.



New plan for older people

Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown in the economy, I, President Obama, have decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 50 years of age and above on early retirement.

This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).

Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to Congress to be considered for the SHAFT scheme (Special Help After Forced Termination). Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (Scheme Covering Retired-Early Workers).

A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as I, President Obama deem appropriate.

Persons who have been RAPED could get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependants & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).

Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by me, President Obama.

Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much S*** (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. I, President Obama, have always prided myself on the amount of S*** I give our citizens..

Should you feel that you do not receive enough S***, please bring this to the attention of your Congressman, who has been trained to give you all the S*** you can handle.

Sincerely,

President Obama

PS - Due to recent budget cuts and the rising cost of electricity, gas and oil, as well as current market conditions, the Light at the End of the Tunnel has been turned off.
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Old 12-03-2009, 02:03 PM
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Quote:
It is not included in the health reform bills
Are you sure? Have you read the whole thing? I assure you Congress has not.
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Old 12-03-2009, 02:19 PM
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Yes, I've read the House version and almost read through the entire Senate version (I fell asleep, so sue me! War and Peace was more interesting!) and I didn't see it anywhere. (Maybe I should be paid the same as Congress members - I'm doing what they should be doing!)

I do remember seeing one paragraph that said something about death panels for former Alaskan governors over 45 but darned if I can find it now...
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Old 12-03-2009, 04:36 PM
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do remember seeing one paragraph that said something about death panels for former Alaskan governors over 45 but darned if I can find it now...
3 point basket. You almost redeemed yourself with that one.
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Old 12-03-2009, 06:40 PM
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But did you read between the lines?

And the fine print.......
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Old 12-04-2009, 09:36 AM
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One thing about reading these health care reform bills. You have to look at a LOT of other bills and documents to really understand what they are saying.

Quite often you'll find something in them like this actual example from the House health care reform bill (page 344):

"1 (b) CONFORMING AMENDMENTS.—
2 (1) Paragraph (2) of section 6416(b) of such
3 Code is amended—
4 (A) by inserting ‘‘or 4061’’ after ‘‘under
5 section 4051’’, and
6 (B) by adding at the end the following: ‘‘In
7 the case of the tax imposed by section 4061,
8 subparagraphs (B), (C), (D), and (E) shall not
9 apply.’’.

Huh?!

Good luck reading between the lines...
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