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  #1  
Old 02-16-2012, 09:59 AM
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Thumbs down Reactions To Tommy Jordan Shooting Daughter's Laptop

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Parents may be applauding Tommy Jordan, the dad from North Carolina who famously shot his 15-year-old daughter's laptop with a .45 and made a YouTube video to prove it, but parenting expert Larry Winget says he should have skipped the gunfire and turned to duct tape instead. http://www.latimes.com/business/tech...,6768374.story
By now, most of you have likely seen this video or at the very least have heard about it.

I am interested in finding out if the responses (negative vs positive) are somehow related to where people live in terms of country vs city and north vs south.

How does this story make you feel?

If you have not yet seen the video, please do so before responding.

[YT]kl1ujzRidmU[/YT]
 
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  #2  
Old 02-16-2012, 10:15 AM
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This sure is a lesson in self control.
 
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  #3  
Old 02-16-2012, 10:34 AM
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I'm feeling a lot like KJ.
I totally agree with the reasoning behind the message. I think (based on his version of events) the message needed to be delivered.
I just question his method of delivery.

The point could have been made without destroying a perfectly good laptop and destroying it in the manner in which he chose. I wonder what message that sends his daughter.
 
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  #4  
Old 02-16-2012, 10:38 AM
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But Winget said that the biggest mistake Jordan made was taking a private matter of parenting and making it public.
No mention, of course, of her having publicly expressed her hope to be around when her parents got too old to wipe their own a$$es. Once she had publicly shown that level of disrespect toward both of her parents, this was no longer a "private matter of parenting".

Winget's idea of wrapping the computer in duct tape and keeping it from her leaves her with the expectation that she'd be able to get it back. That approach had already been tried and failed. With the bullet holes in it, she knows she's not getting it back.

Besides, he did have a fairly tight shot grouping on the laptop.
 
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Old 02-16-2012, 10:58 AM
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I live on a small island in BC, Canada. I absolutely understand this father's hurt and anger and don't have a problem with him destroying her laptop. I do, however, have a problem with him posting the video on Facebook. I believe that I read somewhere that this video went viral and so now this angry moment between father and daughter will be around forever and may very well affect them in some way in their future lives.
 
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  #6  
Old 02-16-2012, 11:49 AM
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Hmmmm .....

I must say that I applaud a parent taking a strong stand. I'm tired of hearing things like I almost posted on the other day ... a man telling his kid to choose a toy quickly, he was in a hurry, and the man kept returning to the toy aisle trying to get the kid to hurry up (this kid was about 5), and threatening that he wouldn't get anything if he wasn't up there with the toy by the time the man paid ... eventually the kid said to the man "I'M TAKING MY TIME!!!" and the father walked away, allowed that disrespect, and waited on his kid to come to the front, and bought him the toy.

WHAT?????? was he thinking???? Sorry, I would have snatched MY kid up and marched her little self along with me, and not bought her anything. Except she wouldn't have acted that way. She knew better, and she was always respectful and polite. I can't stand to see a 5-year-old running a family. What will that child be like at 15? Surely worse than the 15 yo daughter of this man.

I know it's typical for many kids to act out, but I do think the daughter crossed the line. And I think a strong parental reaction was called for.

Bullet holes in the laptap? Hmmm .... I'm not so sure. Yes, I'm from the south, yes, I'm from the country ... but something in me says that wantonly destroying an object of some value sends a bad message. And solving the problem with a firearm doesn't really lend credibility to people who would use them responsibly. I'm somewhat on the fence, but I do think he could have sent his message in a better way. He sounds like a tech-savvy guy. Perhaps disassembling her laptop for parts would make his point, and not waste resources nor encourage a violent response.

I do also have some concerns that it was handled so publicly. I can understand the man wanting to respond to her friends as well. To be honest, I'd have to think about what my response would be, in his situation. If I were pressed to answer quickly, I think I MIGHT have made a response that her friends would see. I might make it plain that she had been disrespectful, but I don't think I would reiterate what she had posted. If her friends had seen it, they would know, and it would not now be splashed all over the internet. I would probably frame it more as a reason for not seeing the child after school or hearing from her because she was going to be on restriction, or a reason for the upcoming disabling of her Facebook page. (Not sure disabling FB is a good step though, because I think it very likely the child would just create a new page, and then her parents wouldn't know at all what she was saying/doing online if she hid that one from them.)

I think html woman is right, that it may affect their relationship for some time. It will always be "out there" and like a fresh wound in that way. Yes, it is our responsibility to raise and teach our children, but the end result is also (hopefully) a relationship with them. A single battle isn't worth destroying a relationship, and as children approach adulthood, it's important to find ways to guide them without provoking them to opposite actions and away from their parents.

I sincerely hope they work it all out, and the girl understands what her father has done and why. It sounds like their problems run deeper than just this instance, since the girl was so horribly disrespectful to her parents in the first place.
 
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  #7  
Old 02-16-2012, 12:46 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cricket View Post
How does this story make you feel?
If I was the father, I will send the kid in marines boot camp.
 
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  #8  
Old 02-16-2012, 01:06 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Inspired Ink View Post
I might make it plain that she had been disrespectful, but I don't think I would reiterate what she had posted. If her friends had seen it, they would know, and it would not now be splashed all over the internet.
Sorry, but I have to disagree on that point. Had he not quoted her original Facebook post, there would be a huge number of people who would now be claiming that her disrespect couldn't have been that bad and accusing him of exaggerating it. By quoting her post, he firmly established just how disrespectful she had been.
 
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  #9  
Old 02-16-2012, 01:33 PM
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Shoot the laptop? OK, there are safer ways to destroy hardware. But video it and post to YouTube? Not smart. Doing this takes away from his point (or lesson), which should have stayed between him and her.
 
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  #10  
Old 02-16-2012, 02:18 PM
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I watched (thanks to my wife... not my choice) Hoda and Kathie Lee share deep thoughts (or as deep as two ladies that get plastered on air a few times a week can get) about the video.

For those that were denied the opportunity i had to see this, either thru lack of availibility or a stroke of good taste, i'll share their conclusions. They felt it was appropriate for the father to destroy what he'd freely given in light of the spirit with which the daughter repaid his generousity... But they differed in appraisal of the method.

Hoda was just aghast that he had done so with (insert squeemish "ewwww!"... *gasp*)... a GUN! She then continued on into how this was poor judgment. Kathie deflected, suggesting perhaps it was just ok given his social surroundings... After all, look at what he's wearing. [She did not use the term "white trash", possibly to avoid offending the various women her husband has been caught sleeping with.]

Now digressing from the topic of how the action was perceived by people that drink alcohol at 7am while making pronouncements about others poor judgment, I'll venture my own opinions.
--- Was it wasteful?
Yeah.

--- Did it deliver a resounding lesson to the daughter that she aint NEVER gonna forget about biting the hand that feeds you.
Yep.

--- Is it my business to bitch at him about being wasteful with stuff he paid for?
Nope.

--- Do i value ANY pronouncements from people that get squeemish at the mere sight of a firearm?
Not bloody likely.

--- Should people that get toasted before the rest of us have finished our toast really be trusted to voice opinions on judgement?
No... There's probably a good argument they should be shot on youtube.

Last edited by robjones; 02-16-2012 at 02:26 PM.
 
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  #11  
Old 02-16-2012, 02:28 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bob Barr View Post
Sorry, but I have to disagree on that point. Had he not quoted her original Facebook post, there would be a huge number of people who would now be claiming that her disrespect couldn't have been that bad and accusing him of exaggerating it. By quoting her post, he firmly established just how disrespectful she had been.

You may certainly have a point. If it had gone viral, and he had NOT established how disrespectful she had been ... I'm very sure you are right and half the country (or more) would be calling him abusive and wanting to put him in jail and take away his kids forever for being an over-reactive parent with a gun.

You do have a point.

I think (and Rob has a point that it's not my place anyway) ... but I tried to put myself in his position and think of what I *would* do if I were faced with this situation -- not a good situation on either side -- but I still think if it had been handled more privately (just her friends and herself) it wouldn't have needed to be said.

But the very nature of Facebook precludes my idea, so it's a totally moot point. I read that the man hadn't intended for it to be all over the internet anyway, but just posting it where anyone can see it means that that CAN happen.

So my perfect little world won't work anyhow. Hehe ... for that reason, I suppose I should withdraw my statements. But if it were me and I could control how it all came out, that's still what I *think* I would have liked to see.

We really have no privacy anymore anyway, have we?
 
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  #12  
Old 02-16-2012, 02:34 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by robjones View Post
Kathie deflected, suggesting perhaps it was just ok given his social surroundings... After all, look at what he's wearing. [She did not use the term "white trash", possibly to avoid offending the various women her husband has been caught sleeping with.]
Did she actually SAY that? Wow ... I think I'm offended on his behalf. I didn't see that the first time I read your post.

Quote:
Originally Posted by robjones View Post

--- Did it deliver a resounding lesson to the daughter that she aint NEVER gonna forget about biting the hand that feeds you.
Yep.
And really, that's what put me on the fence. In light of how people tend to handle their kids these days, seeing someone who was willing to stand up and MAKE A POINT (caps intended) makes him borderline hero material to me.

If the whole thing had been kept totally in the family, it would have been better, but then again we couldn't be here discussing it then.
 
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  #13  
Old 02-16-2012, 02:34 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by robjones View Post
I watched (thanks to my wife... not my choice) Hoda and Kathie Lee share deep thoughts (or as deep as two ladies that get plastered on air a few times a week can get) about the video.
Rob, two questions:

1. Who the heck are "Hoda and Kathie Lee"?

2. Is there any good reason on God's green earth that I should even consider paying attention to anything that they have to say?
 
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  #14  
Old 02-16-2012, 03:10 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by inspired ink
Did she actually SAY that? Wow ... I think I'm offended on his behalf. I didn't see that the first time I read your post.
Not a direct quote... But that was the gist. You didnt see it cause my posts are never finished until i revise them at least twice.

I think she actually meant to defend him, but it came across like 'this is probably considered acceptable in poor redneck society'. i'd give you an exact quote... But searching for Kathie Lee quotes would put me a step closer to drinking before breakfast.

Quote:
Originally Posted by bob
1. Who the heck are "Hoda and Kathie Lee"?
Kathie is a former beauty queen who did bad Carnival Cruise Line commercials for the talent portion of the competition. She married Frank Gifford of NFL (not to mention National Enquirer) fame.

She was once partnered on a morning show with Regis Philbin... Regis and Kathie Lee. When that gig tanked in favor of the perpetually cute Kelly Ripa... she took up drinking in the mornings and got her own show, plus a recurring gig being lampooned on SNL, which oddly gives her more exposure than the show that she actually stars on.

Hoda is a former serious news type who torpedoed her chances of ever being taken seriously by becoming Kathie Lee Gifford's drinking buddy.

As for question #2... You live in the United States. We put anyone in the media up on a pedastal. Whitney Houston just killed herself of a drug overdose and they're talking about taking flags to half staff. Curt Cobain and Elvis did the same and theyre memorialized as if Gods. Kids can tell you who Charlie Sheen is but have no clue who's vice president.

Its a weird culture we live in. On the bright side, Charlie Sheen often makes more sense than the VP, so who am i to criticize?
 
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  #15  
Old 02-16-2012, 04:51 PM
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Thank God there was no FaceBook when mine were at that stage!

I think I might well have taken or even destroyed the computer. Somehow I can't picture myself using a gun or posting this online. Family turmoil and child discipline should be private events. He lowered himself to her child like standards.

The purpose of discipline is to correct anti-social behavior. There were many times when I said to one of mine, We shall talk about this in 24 or 48 hours after I have time to think about it. During that time I got over the pissed off and tried to figure out how I might best teach the lesson or accomplish the objective I wanted.

They knew they were in deep do do if I took a cooling off period. Sometimes the strain was too much for them to handle and they apologized. If they could accurately define exactly where they erred they sometimes got a slightly lighter sentence if it was a first offense.

For sure her butt would not see the Mall for months.
 
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  #16  
Old 02-17-2012, 06:32 AM
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Pretty cool way to deal with a huffy teen, and she has to pay him for the bullets : )

Hope he doesn't knee cap her if she comes home drunk!
 
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  #17  
Old 02-17-2012, 01:58 PM
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Originally Posted by lets4410 View Post
Pretty cool way to deal with a huffy teen, and she has to pay him for the bullets : )

Hope he doesn't knee cap her if she comes home drunk!
Why would you even suggest such a possibility?

The girl was interviewed privately by Child Protective Services. If she were at risk of being subjected to any sort of abuse, violence, or threats, I'm quite certain that she would have been immediately removed from her home.
 
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  #18  
Old 02-17-2012, 04:32 PM
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I was just joking, because the end of the video surprised and amused me, because it's obviously a bit over the top to shoot a laptop.

Didn't mean to ruffle you're feathers Bob.
 
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  #19  
Old 02-17-2012, 05:13 PM
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Originally Posted by lets4410 View Post
I was just joking, because the end of the video surprised and amused me, because it's obviously a bit over the top to shoot a laptop.

Didn't mean to ruffle you're feathers Bob.
No ruffled feathers here. I was just wondering why you brought it up. (I've seen some posters [on another forum that I frequent, not here] conclusively state that this girl is obviously in imminent danger from her deranged father and that CPS is being criminally negligent in not removing her from the home immediately.)
 
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  #20  
Old 02-17-2012, 05:20 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bob Barr View Post
No ruffled feathers here. I was just wondering why you brought it up. (I've seen some posters [on another forum that I frequent, not here] conclusively state that this girl is obviously in imminent danger from her deranged father and that CPS is being criminally negligent in not removing her from the home immediately.)
Lol. Theyd never make it around here. They might have a future co-hosting morning TV though.
 
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