Webmaster Forum

Go Back   Webmaster Forum > The Webmaster Forums > Forum Lobby > Controversial Social Issues

Controversial Social Issues Discussions concerning controversial social issues. Topics include politics, religion, culture, social and economic issues, etc. Respect required at all times.


Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Share |
  #1  
Old 04-09-2012, 01:11 PM
Cricket's Avatar
Cricket Cricket is offline
No Longer Active
 
Join Date: 10-13-03
Location: Texas
Posts: 42,181
iTrader: 0 / 0%
Thumbs down Do You Worry What Your Friends Might Think About You?



As you may have noticed, recently I have started some pretty controversial topics. I did not do this to build a rift between people or as some sort of link bait, but rather to have open and honest discussions (with respect) about the topics. I think communication is a key issue in many current issues. My hope was that perhaps this could happen if I started controversial discussions in a respectful manner.

So far, this has mostly been the case. People are truly COMMUNICATING their thoughts and actually discussing them. Of course there is always the exception, but I don’t think our discussions should be curtailed because of the exceptions. We can simply choose to ignore (or report) those exceptions and go on with our conversation.

What has caught me off guard though are the personal messages I have received from friends concerned about me stating my beliefs, fearing that I may lose friends or respect because of those beliefs – friends who aren’t sure they can remain friends with someone who is pro-life.

Wait. WUT?

Seriously?

Yes, at times I am cautious with responses out of respect for the feelings of others. HOWEVER, there are some issues that are very important to me. In those discussions I am sincere and openly share my thoughts in a respectful manner. If that cost me friends, then so be it because that says far more about the friendship than it does my opinion on the issues.

I am blessed to have a wide range of friends that have beliefs that scope the universe. I personally LOVE that we don’t all think the same way. How boring would that be? I can honestly say that I have never ended (or deleted) a friend because of their beliefs, with the exception of an occasional casual friend who was so filled with HATE that it was best for me to walk away.

Tell me, do you worry so much about what your friends might think that you are afraid to stand up for what you believe? Are you a peacemaker that just avoids controversial topics all together? Or, do you stand by the belief of never mixing friends with discussions about religion, politics, etc.? I would love to hear your thoughts….
Attached Thumbnails
Click image for larger version

Name:	friends.jpg
Views:	1058
Size:	50.8 KB
ID:	16144  
 
Reply With Quote

Advertisement

Advertisement

  #2  
Old 04-09-2012, 01:20 PM
robjones's Avatar
robjones robjones is offline
v7n Mentor
 
Join Date: 09-15-09
Location: Texas
Posts: 9,680
iTrader: 0 / 0%
Quote:
Tell me, do you worry so much about what your friends might think that you are afraid to stand up for what you believe? Are you a peacemaker that just avoids controversial topics all together?
Yeah... the ever-constant fear I might accidentally offend someone paralyzes me, so I avoid such discussions altogether.

OK, that may not be entirely true.
 
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 04-09-2012, 01:38 PM
Ebla's Avatar
Ebla Ebla is offline
Contributing Member
 
Join Date: 03-10-12
Location: Georgia
Posts: 120
iTrader: 0 / 0%
I don't worry about losing friends. They know what I believe anyway. What does give me pause is maybe ticking off someone that I don't know who might be tech savvy enough to cause my website grief down the road.
 
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 04-09-2012, 01:41 PM
forumhookers forumhookers is offline
Junior Member
 
Join Date: 03-29-12
Posts: 29
iTrader: 0 / 0%
I worry if i loose a good friend. btw i dont need the person who dont needs me.
 
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 04-09-2012, 01:44 PM
rabble's Avatar
rabble rabble is offline
v7n Mentor
 
Join Date: 12-24-08
Location: Ohio
Posts: 1,868
iTrader: 0 / 0%
I act as though one can not lose a friend.
I have been wrong a few times. Mostly I have not been.
 
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 04-09-2012, 03:26 PM
ScriptMan's Avatar
ScriptMan ScriptMan is offline
Super Moderator
 
Join Date: 02-10-07
Location: Central Kentucky
Posts: 14,038
iTrader: 4 / 100%
I am a total package. My beliefs are part of me. I always respect the rights of anyone to disagree with me. I may not care for some of the opinions of some of my friends but we are friends because of the things we have in common not the things on which disagree. I may be slightly more tactful when I know a friend has a differing opinion but I say what I think. I try to never get involved when friends disagree with friends. That id their business.

I consider both robjones and rabble online friends. I don't think they share much in common except passion but I can relate to both of them and have things in common with both of them. Sorry guys you were just an obvious choice since you both have posted already.

Bottom line, I don't think you will lose a real friend over a few differing issues. You may learn that your 'friend' was really just an acquaintance. Have you really lost anything? How can you lose that which you never had?
 
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 04-09-2012, 03:50 PM
robjones's Avatar
robjones robjones is offline
v7n Mentor
 
Join Date: 09-15-09
Location: Texas
Posts: 9,680
iTrader: 0 / 0%
As Cricket's asked for serious answers... no, I don't worry that some friends may disagree with something I've said. In real life I've always been opinionated, and have the scars to prove it, so if I wanted to shock my friends from the real world it'd be if I didnt occasionally express an opinion that went against the grain, not if i did.

Anyone that only knows me online's never seen it happen any other way, and it's unlikely they'd consider themself my friend if their skin was so thin they expected me to agree just to give them company on their way to hell in a handbasket. What good would it do if I just agreed? Hell, then we'd BOTH be wrong.

Quote:
Originally Posted by script
I consider both robjones and rabble online friends. I don't think they share much in common except passion but I can relate to both of them and have things in common with both of them. Sorry guys you were just an obvious choice since you both have posted already.
Perfect example. Rabble is an online friend, and neither of us is likely to agree with the other more than a time or two a week, but dadgummit I'll fight for his right to hear the truth if it kills him {which incidentally Cricket has ruled out as one of the options... narrow minded wench}.
 
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 04-09-2012, 03:58 PM
snakeair snakeair is offline
Super Moderator - Rest in Peace 2018
 
Join Date: 12-31-07
Location: Medford, NJ
Posts: 54,771
iTrader: 3 / 100%
I used to care when i was a teenager but now i don't care what my friends think of me when i tell them about my beliefs on certain issues. I always respect there opinions and they should always respect mine.

It takes a lot to get me to post my beliefs on a forum or on a social site. I'm more of a face to face type of guy when talking about my beliefs as in politic's, foreign affairs or even high profile court case's. Looking into my friends eyes while i tell him or her my beliefs is what i like to do. They would know that i'm dead serious about what i said and it's not a bunch of B.S.

Of course if they disagree with me, i'm all for a debate as long as it doesn't end up into a fist fight. lol

If my friends think of me as a bad guy then so be it. I'm not going to change what i believe in.
 
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 04-09-2012, 04:13 PM
Nealrm Nealrm is offline
Contributing Member
 
Join Date: 01-06-12
Location: Jackson Mo
Posts: 250
iTrader: 0 / 0%
If I was truly worried about what my friends though, would I be posting here????

People with similar likes tend to group. However, that doesn't mean that all my friends share all my beliefs. I suspect that a few of them might even be liberals (please forgive me)
 
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 04-09-2012, 04:26 PM
RedScooter's Avatar
RedScooter RedScooter is offline
v7n Mentor
 
Join Date: 12-19-08
Location: Texas
Posts: 248
iTrader: 0 / 0%
Arrow

I do avoid some controversial topics - most notably, politics. I have a good friend at work who's one of the most opinionated (and I say that in a good way) people I've ever met, so sometimes uncomfortable topics come up. I often keep quiet as others enter the conversation, as I like to keep my political views completely out of the picture at work, but in any other circumstance I'd rather discuss my views openly and politely. I listen intently to these conversations so I can hear other viewpoints, unless it gets to the point where I disagree so much I feel the need to tell someone they're wrong, and then I usually go back to my desk rather than get into an argument.

I know I'm not right 100% of the time - and there is not necessarily a "right" answer to every question anyway - so I would rather hear what other people have to say, even if I disagree with them. If you can set aside your own thoughts and truly listen before you respond, you can usually learn something. And it might just change your view - not necessarily to agree with them - but to have another piece of the big puzzle. So outside of work, when they come up, I try to be open to sharing as well as hearing opinions on controversial topics.

It saddens me to think that friendships could be lost just by talking about something. I believe that we can all learn something from every person we meet, and each person should be respected regardless of what they do or believe. There are some people who go down very wrong paths and yet I believe we can learn something from them if we just listen instead of trying to tell them they're wrong...
 
Reply With Quote
  #11  
Old 04-09-2012, 04:52 PM
Nealrm Nealrm is offline
Contributing Member
 
Join Date: 01-06-12
Location: Jackson Mo
Posts: 250
iTrader: 0 / 0%
While it is sad to lose a friends, friends do tend to share belief systems. There is something that brings them together that is not present with others. In some cases, people that we think of friend my just be people we now and are around a lot.
 
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 04-09-2012, 06:02 PM
Lauren at LucasWorks Lauren at LucasWorks is offline
Contributing Member
 
Join Date: 08-14-11
Posts: 74
iTrader: 0 / 0%
Like Ebla, I do worry that folks who don't like my beliefs might work against my business.

As I write this, Coca Cola is being boycotted by Democrats over voter ID laws. And while I'm not Coca-Cola, I worry that there are some folks who would have no problem using boycotts or other techniques to hurt a business if they don't like its values.

So I try to steer clear of politics on our business websites. But I have no problem mentioning our Christian faith, since that's the basis of our business beliefs and everything else we do.

Outside of business, I find it sad that these days many folks don't seem able to 'agree to disagree', and insist on posting rants filled with vitriol on places like Facebook, almost daring anyone to disagree with them.

I also find it immensely interesting that in my world, it's my liberal friends and family who usually post the vicious rants, not my conservative friends and family. Just an observation, and one that's pushed me further into the conservative camp over several years.

Most days I just try to ignore them, because saying anything usually just gives them a reason to rant more. But I'm not afraid of what others will think of me or my beliefs. Honestly, I've thought long and hard about what I believe, and if asked can usually explain why I believe it. If they don't want to be my friend anymore, bye...
 
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old 04-09-2012, 06:19 PM
Inspired Ink's Avatar
Inspired Ink Inspired Ink is offline
v7n Mentor
 
Join Date: 12-03-11
Location: East Texas
Posts: 710
iTrader: 0 / 0%
Could agree with an awful lot of what everyone else has said.

If I was worried about it, I wouldn't post so openly.

I have been in a room full of people (friends, and their friends) who vehemently disagreed with me on a topic I felt was very important. Talk about being on the hot seat ... but I listened to them, was polite, told them my side with as much tact as I could manage, they listened, and it was a good discussion. I learned to see their point of view a little better, and I think I gave a few of them something to think about. Not the least of which was that someone on "the other side" could have a pleasant exchange on the topic. (I appreciated that facet of their participation as well.)

Yes, I have disagreements on real fundamentals with people who are very close to me, more casual friends, and online friends. I can say that I pretty much handle them all the same. As long as we're considerate of each other (and we all generally are) we stay friends. There's not a lot of tension generated by it. I can handle someone not agreeing with me.

There are times I put extra tact and care into what I say ... more because of the particular topic usually, but sometimes because of the person and my degree of closeness with them. For the sake of the topic, because it doesn't do your cause any favor to come across like a complete fanatic.

Then again, sometimes I can toss it out there.

Disagreements can make for the best discussions sometimes. It takes more care, and makes you think more, but overall it's more stimulating.
 
Reply With Quote
  #14  
Old 04-09-2012, 09:10 PM
C0ldf1re's Avatar
C0ldf1re C0ldf1re is offline
Contributing Member
 
Join Date: 03-19-10
Location: England. Hampshire.
Posts: 392
iTrader: 0 / 0%
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cricket View Post
... Tell me, do you worry so much about what your friends might think that you are afraid to stand up for what you believe? Are you a peacemaker that just avoids controversial topics all together? Or, do you stand by the belief of never mixing friends with discussions about religion, politics, etc.? I would love to hear your thoughts….
With acquaintances, you avoid controversial subjects as a courtesy. With friends, you can open your heart.

What if you open your heart to somebody who you thought was a friend, and they become aggressive because they disagree? You have to accept they weren't a friend, but only an acquaintance.
 
Reply With Quote
  #15  
Old 04-09-2012, 10:19 PM
Jim Gillum's Avatar
Jim Gillum Jim Gillum is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: 11-17-09
Location: Deland, Florida
Posts: 7,263
iTrader: 0 / 0%
During my early cop years....I guarded my opinions...... career insurance....

During my political career I had a newspaper up my..... ummmmm...you know.....for about 15 years....

I am retired....finished kissing butts....my friends by now know me....while I am conscious of their feelings...I express my opinion.....sometimes very loudly and on occasion crudely..(from my street cop years).....

I do try to avoid controversy.....in forums....but in public...I remain a grumpy old man....(and enjoy it...I don't need their votes any more)
 
Reply With Quote
  #16  
Old 04-09-2012, 10:31 PM
Dreamrage's Avatar
Dreamrage Dreamrage is offline
Blue Rose Mentor
 
Join Date: 01-11-11
Location: South Africa
Posts: 5,024
iTrader: 0 / 0%
I do. I know I shouldn't, but that is about as inevitable as knowing there is going to be snow in the north pole. I don't like hurting a person's feelings, and I don't like upsetting people. Be they friends or acquaintances. I'm almost never on the offensive unless someone hurts me or if they badmouth something/someone close to me. So I would rather just try keep my friends happy, tell them that I have my own beliefs and if need be they won't ever hear about them. Unless they cross the line and expect me to go against what I believe in.

A friend accepts you for who you are, and never asks you to do or say something that goes against something you believe in. If they do, then I don't think they were ever a real friend to begin with.
 
Reply With Quote
  #17  
Old 04-09-2012, 10:44 PM
C0ldf1re's Avatar
C0ldf1re C0ldf1re is offline
Contributing Member
 
Join Date: 03-19-10
Location: England. Hampshire.
Posts: 392
iTrader: 0 / 0%
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jim Gillum View Post
... During my political career I had a newspaper up my..... ummmmm...you know.....for about 15 years....
Wow, Jim! You had a political career after retiring as Sheriff? You've done a lot in your life. Hope you find time to tell us more!
 
Reply With Quote
  #18  
Old 04-10-2012, 12:42 AM
GlobeGenius's Avatar
GlobeGenius GlobeGenius is offline
Contributing Member
 
Join Date: 11-25-11
Location: Canada
Posts: 265
iTrader: 0 / 0%
Interesting thread. I think real friends accept you the way you are. Not what your opinions or beliefs are. Of course if they were too different, you would probably not be close friends.
If we were all the same, what a boring place it would be. As stated in previous posts, difference of opinion can make for good healthy debate. Learning others thoughts on different subjects has always been interesting for me. I learn by other's experiences also.
 
Reply With Quote
  #19  
Old 04-10-2012, 05:52 AM
Zap's Avatar
Zap Zap is offline
Super Moderator
 
Join Date: 01-15-06
Posts: 13,770
iTrader: 5 / 100%
I DO expect my firends to share my beliefs.
Well... A few of them, anyway...
Respect, Integrity, Morality

The rest is negotiable.

You don't have to have the same morals as me, either, so long as you have them and stick to them.
And someone who can't be friends because of beliefs on something like abortion?
I'm with Cricket on that one. Wait WUT?
 
Reply With Quote
  #20  
Old 04-10-2012, 06:41 AM
Sprinkler Buddy's Avatar
Sprinkler Buddy Sprinkler Buddy is offline
v7n Mentor
 
Join Date: 08-19-11
Location: FL
Posts: 673
iTrader: 0 / 0%
I tend to stir away from "Most" controversial issues, NOT because I'm worried about losing friends. It raises my blood pressure to high. Don't get me started. lol
 
Reply With Quote
Go Back   Webmaster Forum > The Webmaster Forums > Forum Lobby > Controversial Social Issues

Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Should I worry about my domain name now? AdamK Domain Name Forum 4 08-19-2010 12:52 PM
Do Not Worry About PageRank HTMLBasicTutor Google Forum 52 05-29-2010 08:42 AM
Should We worry about IE8 right now?? Nuroo Tech Talk 21 01-15-2009 03:04 AM


V7N Network
Get exposure! V7N I Love Photography V7N SEO Blog V7N Directory


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 10:03 PM.
Powered by vBulletin
Copyright © 2000-2014 Jelsoft Enterprises Limited.
Copyright © 2003 - 2018 VIX-WomensForum LLC