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  #21  
Old 01-09-2007, 06:54 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by John Scott View Post
Nobody is saying that men are not successful in business. I think the article addresses the courts primarily.

When I got divorced, my attorney told me up front that I would not get custody unless my ex walked into court with a machine gun splattered with blood.

That's pretty much how it happens. Men have been demonized in court. Guilty by virtue of being male.
This may be YOUR experience, but I can tell you I've had to fight like hell for everything that is good for my children. I never EVER got one single "favor" simply on the premise that I was female.

This may be how it once was, but I can tell you it is NOT like that across this country in 2006.

Women have had their own crosses to bear.
 
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  #22  
Old 01-09-2007, 06:55 AM
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Originally Posted by Aviva View Post
I think people are missing the point about what John quoted. In essence he's saying:

* feminism has resulted in men getting more involved with their family and children and women getting less involved (because they are going out into the workforce instead of being stay at home moms)

* in family court men get a raw deal
* it's hard for them to get custody, no matter how good a father they are and how active a role they've played in their children's lives
* there are lots of false allegations of abuse, which are almost impossible to defend successfully against

* domestic violence statistics show that almost as many men as women are abused, yet all the media attention and legal help focusses on helping female victims; in fact, some domestic violence legislation specifically excludes helping male victims

* there's a powerful feminist lobby

* in a domestic disturbance, the man is usually arrested and charged regardless of what happened or who did what or even if there is no evidence

* kids in fatherless homes suffer

* if a person loses his job, he still has to pay the same amount of child support as if he were employed and if he can't do this, he ends up in jail
Most of this is NOT TRUE. I have experienced most, if not all of this myself (not just read an article) and this is simply not true.
 
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  #23  
Old 01-09-2007, 07:38 AM
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You know, as much as I dislike radical feminists and have never 'male bashed' in my life, I have to add my voice to kristijos and say that, in my experience, a lot of the things in that list are simply not true - most specifically the ones having to do with court. Maybe I just live in a more reasonable state or something.

I also take exception to the statement that kids in a fatherless home 'suffer.'
 
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  #24  
Old 01-09-2007, 08:37 AM
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Hmmm...I think it has changed some in the last few years BUT it still looks pretty clear to me that in child custody issues, the mother has a huge edge. It used to be the rule that mothers got custody. Technically "shared custody" but when you get to see your child every other weekend and maybe once during each week, that is NOT shared.

Now, fathers are getting custody but it is still very much the exception from what I see. Not as much of an exception as it was but still an exception. There is still a lot of the "mother knows best" mentality left in the family court system. It is very scary to be a father and look at that system and what happens.

I suspect the numbers relating to fatherless homes apply to any single parent home. I tried doing some quick research but didn't find any quick and reliable numbers to verify or deny that idea. It is not a fun thing to contemplate at all but it is a reality today.

I think most women thing very fairly about this until their backs are against the wall in a custody case. It is very difficult to ignore an advantage in a situation where you feel like it is important. This is not an indictment, just a normal reaction to a tough situation. And more importantly, this doesn't describe all women but it is a genaralization, a stereotype. Stereotypes don't fit all but they exist for a reason...they fit a lot of whatever group.
 
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  #25  
Old 01-09-2007, 08:41 AM
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LOL - I've spent ALOT of time in family court over the past ten years. I don't disagree that in many cases, mom does get the kids...but IMO it has little to do with the court system and more to do with dads not wanting to step up to the plate.
 
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  #26  
Old 01-09-2007, 09:23 AM
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Christy, you did hit it right on that one. I blame my fellow fathers for a lot of the attitudes that exist when it comes to a "mom bias" in custody. I don't like the bias because it tends to dominate rather than look at individual cases. There are some good judges who look at it all but there are many that feel and probably are overworked and just run with the "norm". And too many fathers have just been OK to walk away. My sister's first husband did that. He seemed to think his son was going to pop out the the birth canal with a baseball glove on one hand and a bat in the other

Oh well, some people....
 
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  #27  
Old 01-09-2007, 10:33 AM
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I ain't gettin' no damned woman pregnant till I find out where the hell we came from, dammit!

Dad? Yes son. Where'd we come from? I dunno, son. K then.


LOL
 
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  #28  
Old 01-09-2007, 10:38 AM
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Pass the biscuits, son.

More gravy?
 
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  #29  
Old 01-09-2007, 10:40 AM
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I'm sorry. I'm just a little upset with God right now .. it'll pass. lol
 
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  #30  
Old 01-09-2007, 10:42 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kristeejo View Post
Most of this is NOT TRUE. I have experienced most, if not all of this myself (not just read an article) and this is simply not true.
Maybe that is what you've experienced, but I've seen otherwise. Men get f**ked.
 
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  #31  
Old 01-09-2007, 10:57 AM
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at Atom

Atom, your conversations with yourself make my day survivable And God's probably not pissed at you so the second you get over it...it's done. Good luck on that one though. I have rarely been able to just make the shift and be done.
 
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  #32  
Old 01-09-2007, 11:12 AM
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I think plenty of bad stories exist from both sides. Legal settlements vary widely depending on location, the personalities of the parties involved, the personality of the judge, the makeup of the jury, the lawyers of the parties involved, and countless other itty bitty factors. Going to court for any reason carries an enormous risk of uncertainty. You never know which way the Gods of Law will blow.

Regardless, men sometimes get screwed not due to feminist infiltration, but more likely due to the traditional idea that women are "natural caregivers" and thus "better wired" to raise a child successfully. Many feminists would take umbrage with that idea, and it's biased and sexist in its own way, but the bias runs canyon deep in American culture. Traditional values, not radical feminism, provide a better explanantion for those cases. Courts remain extremely conservative and traditional institutions in general. The posted article points the finger at feminism without grounds and without considering other factors, like traditional biases.
 
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  #33  
Old 01-09-2007, 11:24 AM
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Originally Posted by Taltos View Post
at Atom

Atom, your conversations with yourself make my day survivable And God's probably not pissed at you so the second you get over it...it's done. Good luck on that one though. I have rarely been able to just make the shift and be done.
Well I don't think He's pissed at me. I'm pissed at Him.

I'm just glad He's there to be pissed at, cuz if He wasn't, then I'd be really pissed.
 
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  #34  
Old 01-09-2007, 11:29 AM
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Originally Posted by Atom View Post
Well I don't think He's pissed at me. I'm pissed at Him.

I'm just glad He's there to be pissed at, cuz if He wasn't, then I'd be really pissed.
'He'? Last I heard is that God's a 'She', and rumour has it that she ain't white either.

 
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  #35  
Old 01-09-2007, 11:31 AM
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Originally Posted by Ferre View Post
'He'? Last I heard is that God's a 'She', and rumour has it that she ain't white either.

OM ... . .. . G!



 
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  #36  
Old 01-09-2007, 11:55 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ewomack View Post
I think plenty of bad stories exist from both sides. Legal settlements vary widely depending on location, the personalities of the parties involved, the personality of the judge, the makeup of the jury, the lawyers of the parties involved, and countless other itty bitty factors. Going to court for any reason carries an enormous risk of uncertainty. You never know which way the Gods of Law will blow.

Regardless, men sometimes get screwed not due to feminist infiltration, but more likely due to the traditional idea that women are "natural caregivers" and thus "better wired" to raise a child successfully. Many feminists would take umbrage with that idea, and it's biased and sexist in its own way, but the bias runs canyon deep in American culture. Traditional values, not radical feminism, provide a better explanantion for those cases. Courts remain extremely conservative and traditional institutions in general. The posted article points the finger at feminism without grounds and without considering other factors, like traditional biases.
Your remarks have a lot of wisdom.
 
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  #37  
Old 01-09-2007, 12:04 PM
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Women!
 
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  #38  
Old 01-09-2007, 12:21 PM
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Women!
Gio - you only have to worry about this topic if you're heterosexual hun.
 
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  #39  
Old 01-09-2007, 01:09 PM
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'He'? Last I heard is that God's a 'She', and rumour has it that she ain't white either.
Since we've delved into the realm of the theological I must ask: Can God create a gender that He/She can't screw? I would think God, with the omniscient power to screw, could screw anything, so the question of gender remains unresolved... If God can create males that He can screw, then He's female. Conversely, if He can create females He can screw, then She's Male. But if God is Male can He create Males She can screw? If not, is She male? If so, is He female? Oooh... oooooh...

I'M GONNA BE UP ALL NIGHT!!!!

Last edited by ewomack; 01-09-2007 at 01:12 PM.
 
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  #40  
Old 01-09-2007, 01:13 PM
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Ed, you're scarin' me again

 
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