Friend talks bad about everyone why?

[realistic]

I have this friend, she talks bad about everyone. In front of you, she's very nice, but once you leave, she starts talking **** about you. She talks bad about her brother, sister, mom and dad, and her best friends also. She also exaggerates things and also lies.
So I want to know why she does this.

Here’s a little background of her, she is 22 years old college student, and she smokes marijuana, and sometimes does *****. She used to be abused by her mother, and has been raped when she was 14. She has been physically abused by her boyfriends in the past. She always moved around a lot in her childhood. And one of her friends told me she used to be socially awkward in school..

She doesn't really have that much friends right now, as she ditches her friends. They will make plans with her and at the end she'll cancel it. For example her friend invited her to Las Vegas, got her hotel room and etc, and the day before she cancels it. When I first met her she would do the same thing with me, I would invite her someplace she would agree and then cancel at the end. So I stopped inviting her anywhere.

I am just curious why she does this, I no longer see this person, and I only talk to them a few times a week online.

[faye valentine]

Well, i guess she's traumatized on what have had come off to her, physical abused, rape or verbal abused. She's afraid to trust to anyone, she only thinks that everybody around her will do the same thing that had happened to her before.

She do ganjas and *****, considering the fact that its her way to keep her calm, not to think of her past. I guess she needs a psychiatrist before she became badly traumatized that'll lead her into some sanity disorder and harm everyone.

[emaillistbase]

Her Nature is very bad that is the reason she talks in that way.

[Moore123]

She was abused by her mom and it was a great trauma for her. I think she needs some exert help, at least a good psycho analyst just to work with her for sometime.

[HiVelocity]

maybe she doesnt have a high self esteem

[abajan]

Originally Posted by HiVelocity

maybe she doesnt have a high self esteem

Bingo! I’m no psychiatrist but there’s a well known saying: "What Peter says about Paul, says more about Peter than Paul." So, I’m guessing that deep down she blames herself for all those awful things that happened to her and so it is herself, rather than others, that she doesn’t like very much. Realistic, try to be there for her and forgive her for all the nasty things you may have heard she had said about you. Just bear in mind that you risk becoming like her because we tend to become like those with whom we closely associate. See if you can somehow gently persuade your friend to get psychiatric help.

I am not going to condemn her for smoking pot and so on because I have not walked in her shoes.
This whole affair saddens me.

[info-link]

Originally Posted by realistic

I have this friend, she talks bad about everyone.

She only born in a barn, in unmoral family. Grand her remissions of sins.

Originally Posted by nurit

We cannot choose family, but we can choose friends.

If you hung up on her, you can lost your real friends.

[de'somad]

That's human. a lot of people talks bad about everyone, as if forgetting himself

[Zos0r]

Originally Posted by abajan

Bingo! I’m no psychiatrist but there’s a well known saying: "What Peter says about Paul, says more about Peter than Paul." So, I’m guessing that deep down she blames herself for all those awful things that happened to her and so it is herself, rather than others, that she doesn’t like very much. Realistic, try to be there for her and forgive her for all the nasty things you may have heard she had said about you. Just bear in mind that you risk becoming like her because we tend to become like those with whom we closely associate. See if you can somehow gently persuade your friend to get psychiatric help.

I am not going to condemn her for smoking pot and so on because I have not walked in her shoes.
This whole affair saddens me.

I've never heard that peter/paul saying before...but I like it.

[Vicky liu]

It seems she is really a bad girl ,
everybody hates whom talks bad
about himself or herself,but in fact,
when someone talk about it ,it means
you have a trouble,and you need to
change .on the other hand ,we also
do it to others ,just think about ,didn't
you say bad to anyone?

[Jim Gillum]

Professional help would most likely get her back on track...........

[andr97]

Thanks God I didn't have such traumas in my childhood, but still I think she should overcome her agressiveness and try to treat people in more positive way, the're not guilty for her problems in the end