Have you ever been handcuffed?

[Zap]

Is EBK married??? I had no idea.

On the topic of marriage... this one crosses my path every now and then....


Dear Technical Support:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure.

In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system initialization, where it monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Drunken Boys Night 2.5 and Saturday Football 5.0 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected.

I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run some of my other favorite applications. I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall does not work on this program. Can you help me, please!!!

Thanks,
A TROUBLED USER


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear TROUBLED USER:

This is a very common problem men complain about, but is mostly due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT program.

Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by its creator to run everything. It is unlikely you would be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0. Hidden operating files within your system would cause Girlfriend 7.0 to emulate Wife 1.0 so nothing is gained.

It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the program files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this. Some have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than with the original system. Look in your manual under "Warnings-Alimony/Child Support".

I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the situation. I suggest installing background application program C:\YES DEAR to alleviate software augmentation. Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General Partnership Faults (GPFs).

You must assume all responsibility for faults and problems that might occur, regardless of their cause. The best course of action will be to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE. In any case avoid excessive use of YES DEAR because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the operating system will return to normal.

The system will run smoothly as long as you take the blame for all the GPFs. Wife 1.0 is a great program, but very high maintenance. Consider buying additional software to improve the performance of Wife 1.0. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0.

Do not, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This is not a supported application for Wife 1.0 and is likely to cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of luck,
Tech Support

Scraped from here.

[Kalina]

Originally Posted by ccole1968

Is EBK married??? I had no idea.

On the topic of marriage... this one crosses my path every now and then....


Dear Technical Support:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure.

In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system initialization, where it monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Drunken Boys Night 2.5 and Saturday Football 5.0 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected.

I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run some of my other favorite applications. I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall does not work on this program. Can you help me, please!!!

Thanks,
A TROUBLED USER


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear TROUBLED USER:

This is a very common problem men complain about, but is mostly due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT program.

Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by its creator to run everything. It is unlikely you would be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0. Hidden operating files within your system would cause Girlfriend 7.0 to emulate Wife 1.0 so nothing is gained.

It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the program files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this. Some have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than with the original system. Look in your manual under "Warnings-Alimony/Child Support".

I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the situation. I suggest installing background application program C:\YES DEAR to alleviate software augmentation. Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General Partnership Faults (GPFs).

You must assume all responsibility for faults and problems that might occur, regardless of their cause. The best course of action will be to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE. In any case avoid excessive use of YES DEAR because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the operating system will return to normal.

The system will run smoothly as long as you take the blame for all the GPFs. Wife 1.0 is a great program, but very high maintenance. Consider buying additional software to improve the performance of Wife 1.0. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0.

Do not, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This is not a supported application for Wife 1.0 and is likely to cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of luck,
Tech Support

Scraped from here.

I prefer the one about the husband... they totally suck.... j/k

EBK is married.... why... I don't know. Makes no sense....

[EBK]

I was generally speaking, if she wanted to I'm sure she could..

Speaking of handcuffs I should be getting more in today...I jazzed...

good morning C...

[Zap]

EBK, I'm going to have to look at you in a whole new light now.

[Kalina]

Originally Posted by Evil Black Knight

I was generally speaking, if she wanted to I'm sure she could..

Speaking of handcuffs I should be getting more in today...I jazzed...

good morning C...

Where's the smiley with hearts... oh yeah... I am used to yahoo, so many appropriate smileys. Stop logging out dammit!!

Originally Posted by ccole1968

EBK, I'm going to have to look at you in a whole new light now.

Somehow that doesn't sound too good for EBK.

I am gonna have him unmarried so he can be my dungeon master & slave.

[Zap]

Originally Posted by Colleen

Somehow that doesn't sound too good for EBK.
I am gonna have him unmarried so he can be my dungeon master & slave.

...Actually, gained some respect, since I know now that he has "war wounds".

EBK: Do you have Child 1.0? Or is Wife 1.0 still in beta?

[Kalina]

Originally Posted by ccole1968

...Actually, gained some respect, since I know now that he has "war wounds".

EBK: Do you have Child 1.0? Or is Wife 1.0 still in beta?

Oh I'd like to give him some war/love wounds of my own.

[Zap]

Originally Posted by Colleen

Oh I'd like to give him some war/love wounds of my own.

Married or not... If you kidnapped him, then the man would have a valid excuse. Not under his control.

[Kalina]

Originally Posted by ccole1968

Married or not... If you kidnapped him, then the man would have a valid excuse. Not under his control.

Hey, how'd you know the plan? After the kidnapping, I am going to brainwash him too. And then a whole bunch of things I can't post here.

[EBK]

Originally Posted by Colleen

Hey, how'd you know the plan? After the kidnapping, I am going to brainwash him too. And then a whole bunch of things I can't post here.

Anything but that...



set the time and place!!!

[Kalina]

Originally Posted by Evil Black Knight

Anything but that...



set the time and place!!!

I steal you.

[Will.Spencer]

I was not a very nice fellow in my younger days. Hell, I'm not so nice now. But when I was younger, it was even worse.

One time when I was being arrested in Las Vegas for punching some dweezil in the head, I had this discussion with an idiot cop:

Cop: Have you ever been arrested before?
Me: Well duh! Lots of times.
Cop: How many times?
Me: Hell, I don't know. I drink a lot!
Cop: Tell me about every time you've been arrested or I'll charge you with obstruction of justice.
Me: I know my rights; I don't have to tell you anything.
Cop: ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU KNOW THE LAW BETTER THAN ME?
Me: <silence>

I really couldn't tell you have many times I've been handcuffed.

I can tell you that when the Georgia police handcuff your hands behind you and you move the cuffs to the front -- they get really unhappy.

[John Scott]

LOL @ Will.

Las Vegas is another place that loves to arrest people. Their jails make serious money from tourists.

[Ohiosweetheart]

yep, once..........no details to follow

[webprofessor]

twice.
- once for a car accident I caused but I wouldn't give the cop a statement with out a lawyer so he detained me in his cruiser for a bit. no biggie, pissed me off but I think he needed to do it while he talked to the other person.

- second time for destroying my house because my exwife was leaving me. That was a long time ago, I throughly enjoyed it, and I only crunched things not people. Nothing is more fun than smashing shit. Cop proceeded to point out that I was an idiot because most of the stuff destroyed was going to be mine anyways

[Ohiosweetheart]

LMAO @ Will & Webprof

[John Scott]

I destoyed a house once. Used to be a framing contactor in my youth, and we built a house for an Iranian guy, and he made payment, but when we were done with the framing and siding, he wanted to renegotiate. Claimed he wasn't 100% happy. So I sent my crew back to repo the work. He called the cops, but they told him it was a civil matter.