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Old 12-01-2013, 03:28 PM
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Thumbs down What Things Destroy Relationships?



What things do you feel destroy relationships?

Could those things be prevented?
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Old 12-01-2013, 05:18 PM
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For the last 2-3 generations, a lack of compromise. My way or the highway seems to be the problem.

That doesn't mean breakups were not around when our parents or grandparents married but it does seem going back, people were more willing to make the relationship work through compromise by both parties.
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Old 12-01-2013, 06:12 PM
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Waaa I had to look that title... Newbie here.

To me "what things destroy relationships" is just half of what we should consider. I came here to post, read and share about websites but this kind of topic is one of my favorites too.

Well, usually people try to analyze why relationships failed but almost nobody discuss or wants to think about "should I date this person?", I mean, many relationships are a bad idea, don't suppose to happen, are impossible to sustain, are a soon-to-sink-ship but people put effort on making it happen. As many psychologist tell their friends, it's not about "is this going to last?" is more about "should I date this person? should I have a relationship with this person?"

From a coder perspective, many times the signs are there, we just don't want to see them. Other times the signs are beyond what we can see, we just can't read minds, besides people change, that includes us too.

Coming back to the topic "what things destroy relationships" well, lies, anything regarding hiding information or doing things we don't want others to do to us, not being fair sucks too (the gender equality thing is a big hoax and if you look beyond the words, it's one of the things that most problems brings regarding equality, what a joke). But if I had to pick just one group of things it would be "lack of life compatibility and future plans".

Part 1. When both enjoy climbing mountains, you both will be seeing each other from time to time there (mountains bring you together)

Part 2. Then is about HOW you climb mountains and opposite views can be enriching, or breaking the relationship if one or both fail to see the "better approach". This has a lot to do with power struggle. IF A has a better idea than B, is on both best interests to do it the best way "not the A way" but people fail into power struggle too much.

That's enough for now
 
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Old 12-01-2013, 10:16 PM
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Anything that damages the trust bond will eventually destroy the relationship...
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Old 12-02-2013, 01:25 AM
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In terms of destroying a relationship I think it has to be one of 4 things:
1. Violence
2. Breaking of trust
3. Financial problems
4. Addictions, such as gambling, drugs and alcohol

These obviously aren't the only reasons a relationship will end, often it will just fade out or people will come to a mutual decision that it isn't working. But in terms of destroying, where the relationship doesn't end amicably either suddenly or over time, then I think these 4 are the most common reasons.

Can they be prevented? In theory yes they all can, but there are so many factors that will differ from person to person which is why we all react to situations differently.
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Old 12-02-2013, 05:04 AM
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Anything that damages the trust bond will eventually destroy the relationship...
Jim beat me to it.
Trust is probably one of the biggest factors in whether or not a relationship can be successful.
As long as the trust is still there, a relationship can survive an awful lot of other things that can go wrong.
 
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Old 12-02-2013, 02:06 PM
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[/IMG]

What things do you feel destroy relationships?
In regards to the opening question, in my opinion the most important ingredient in any relationship is communication. In other words a lack of communication is what destroys relationships. A channel of communication should always be kept open because in reality for true communication to exist, there must be a transmitting of thoughts, ideas and feelings from one mind to another. The importance of communication does not only apply to Husband and Wife and Boyfriend and Girlfriend, but also to Parents and children.
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Old 12-02-2013, 03:13 PM
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To my mind, there are uncountable number of things that can destroy the relationships. Relying on my experience, that could be treachery, loss of trust, financial difficulties that sometimes last long, not lack, but absence of communication. That is a real philosophic question.
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Old 12-02-2013, 04:04 PM
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While I agree with most of the above posted comments, I personally believe that a failure to take seriously a solemn vow sworn before God and in the presence of witnesses is the major cause.

A contributing factor is the "instant gratification" factor, satisfying me above all others.
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Old 12-02-2013, 04:57 PM
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Lack of a connection

Throughout a long term relationship there will be many times where you may lose a connection with each other. It's important at those times (and always really) to reconnect one way or another. You need to make time for each other or you will surely drift apart.
 
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Old 12-02-2013, 05:01 PM
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Jealousy, that seems to be a common one
 
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Old 12-03-2013, 04:35 AM
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Well, usually people try to analyze why relationships failed but almost nobody discuss or wants to think about "should I date this person?", I mean, many relationships are a bad idea, don't suppose to happen, are impossible to sustain, are a soon-to-sink-ship but people put effort on making it happen. As many psychologist tell their friends, it's not about "is this going to last?" is more about "should I date this person? should I have a relationship with this person?"
I couldn't agree more. Some people just don't have the capacity to fulfill their end of a relationship. The well that they're drawing out is either clogged up or just isn't deep enough. Their 100 percent is always going to fall short of what their partner is looking for.

The other thing I see is the notion that if you have to work at it, it's not authentic. If it's "real" it will be effortless. In a relationship I think the spark has to be there, but like any fire it has to be tended and like any garden it needs to be cultivated. I think we tend to leave too much to chance.
 
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Old 12-03-2013, 06:45 AM
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I would say a lack of honesty in a relationship is the key to a downward spiral. Honesty when it comes to all feelings, positive or negative. My wife and I fight like cat and dog, whereas other couples dont EVER argue, I feel it is important for your feelings to be aired so you know just exactly where you stand with eachother.

I feel that couples who arent honest with eachother, are couples who are bottling all of their feelings up, and this will one day bite them in the bum, as they will have a load of frustration just bubbling away, whereas we have a conversation, agree, or agree to disagree, then it is forgotten about...
 
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Old 12-03-2013, 07:27 PM
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For me, the very thing that destroys relationship is trust. Either you don't give it, or you don't have it. It all starts from there, and then branches out into other problems that ultimately demises the relationship.
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Old 12-03-2013, 10:08 PM
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Marriage, Kids.. lol
 
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Old 12-04-2013, 04:05 AM
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Marriage, Kids.. lol
That should make the relationships much stronger.
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Old 12-04-2013, 07:43 AM
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That should make the relationships much stronger.

Should... but when you have a 2 year old who is a royal PITA.... lol
 
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Old 12-06-2013, 05:13 AM
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Should... but when you have a 2 year old who is a royal PITA.... lol
Each person chooses his/her own privileges.
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Old 12-06-2013, 05:25 AM
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Should... but when you have a 2 year old who is a royal PITA.... lol
This I totally agree with, my little girl was 2 last week, shes an awful sleeper and very demanding, which hugely gets inbetween me and the wife...

We went away for a week on a mini honeymoon to New York from London recently, and didnt have a crossed word for a week, we come back home and BOOM, back at each others throats again.

Lack of sleep, demanding child, differing views - all a huge challenge to the strength of a relationship
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Old 12-07-2013, 07:18 AM
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When you take another person for granted, you can`t even see or feel your relationship breaking down. Biggest trap, for sure
 
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