Hell Defined

[nigelaxis]

I got this story by email.....but thought this forum would appreciate it.

HELL EXPLAINED BY CHEMISTRY STUDENT

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington
chemistry mid term.

The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it
with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the
pleasure of enjoying it as well :

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs
heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas
cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need
to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which
they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets
to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how
many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that
exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their
religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these
religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can
project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are,
we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we
look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states
that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the
volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter
Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell
breaks loose

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in
Hell,then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year
that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into
account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be
true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen
over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it
follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore,
extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine
being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.

[ewomack]

Yes, a classic.

Wouldn't it be great if the academic world worked like that?

Of course it doesn't...

[mothproof]

ive read this one before, but it always pays to read it again

i believe the only hell there is is the one we create and nurture in our minds.

[pctec]

hehehe

I read it many times before and I was actually thinking about it the other noght... Good to have a copy I can print out

[mdvaldosta]

Lol, I think I heard it before but it was still funny. Worth reading again.

[gUrLaLiEn]

wow! what a smart answer... thanks for sharing it!

[WorldwideTrading]

I had a question in a history exam once that said:
The Renaissance. Why?

I wrote "Why not!" as my answer. Lets just say I didnt recieve an A+.

[gUrLaLiEn]

Originally Posted by cgreen

I had a question in a history exam once that said:
The Renaissance. Why?

I wrote "Why not!" as my answer. Lets just say I didnt recieve an A+.

your answer should be "Why not the Renaissance?!"

[chicgeek]

An oldie but a goodie.