Something I learned about relationships

krahmaan · 09-14-2007, 01:03 AM

Here's something I recently learned about relationships. It has helped me in taking a lot of stress away from what comes in dealing with personal relationships. Hopefully it can be useful to others who may have the same difficulties I have had in the past on the subject. Here it goes.

In relationships most of us usually look to find love, or try to seek find our one true love. This is ok but can become a hassle because not always are the same feelings returned from the ones we love. In this day and age we should not seek to find love. We should only seek to learn and grow within relationships.

See, when we grow ourselves and help our partners grow as well, then love can spring forth on its own. Love has always been a subject heard of by many, experienced by few and truly known by no one. Our main job is to leave the concept of love in the hands or our Higher Power. Also, to reserve our most precious love for our Higher Power. That keeps love in the right place, where it emanates from.

It also helps us to focus on building our selves in that relationship, while also giving our loved one help in growing as well. This philosophy has helped me relieve the stresses focusing too much on trying to love most, or be loved.

I hope that this makes sense and can assist anyone having problems in the arena of building relationships. Best wishes.

jamaine12 · 09-14-2007, 01:05 AM

Tnx for d advice..It came in a ryt time..Because ryt now i have problems wid my bf..

mabel01 · 09-14-2007, 04:51 AM

When someone goes away, it’s hard..

pctec · 09-14-2007, 04:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mabel01

When someone goes away, it’s hard..

Sometimes its a blessing

mabel01 · 09-14-2007, 05:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pctec
Sometimes its a blessing

yeah you're right.. though it's really hard to deal with it..
and you just have to deal with it..

fermiop · 09-14-2007, 07:04 AM

It is always hard.

dee_el07 · 09-14-2007, 07:24 AM

Good concept about love and how to build a good relationship..

cheers..

StrongInTheArm · 09-14-2007, 07:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fermiop

It is always hard.

Please go to see your doctor immediately.

We expect too much and give too little. Expect less, give more and work hard at pleasing your partner. The rewards will more than compensate.

Julie · 09-14-2007, 07:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by StrongInTheArm

Please go to see your doctor immediately.

We expect too much and give too little. Expect less, give more and work hard at pleasing your partner. The rewards will more than compensate.

That isn't always the case. You can do all that, but if the other person doesn't reciprocate, it doesn't do all that much good. It's a two-way street.

StrongInTheArm · 09-14-2007, 09:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Julie

That isn't always the case. You can do all that, but if the other person doesn't reciprocate, it doesn't do all that much good. It's a two-way street.

You are absolutely right Julie!

Relationships are like see-saws, they work when both parties are putting some effort in. If one is trying too hard or one is not trying hard enough, its just not going to be fulfilling. But when both are working together, then the chances are good that something special may result.

That said, you can only look to doing your part in the relationship and hope that your partner does their bit too. If you are doing your bit right, you are half way there. And if things don't work out, then you know YOU gave it your best efforts.

I stick with my previous advice;
"We expect too much and give too little. Expect less, give more and work hard at pleasing your partner. The rewards will more than compensate."

If you follow this advice and it still does not work out, then you know that the other person was not the right one for you.

If both partners take this approach, the chances of the relationship working out, while not guaranteed, are much better, because that is what relationships are about.

Cryxellis · 09-15-2007, 02:33 AM

Love is one of the major problem in the world.
Do you agree?

freshEO · 09-15-2007, 03:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cryxellis

Love is one of the major problem in the world.
Do you agree?

uhmmm.. in what aspect? or can you give site examples supporting your statement?

Sadierhianne · 09-15-2007, 06:33 AM

It is very hard when only one partner is doing all the loving - there seems to be a major imbalance with the way that different people love - i have loved too much, and i have been loved too much - strangely, the people who i have loved too much have not loved back enough and the people who have loved me too much, well i haven't loved them enough. Tis hard to find two people who can make the right balance and i know an awful lot of people who are married, yet one of those people simply aren't having their needs met but stick with it anyway for many reasons.

It is also sad that often outside influence can come in and rattle a relationship, people can still love each other but the external influence just shatters the love - love can turn to resentment very easily which is a shame.

It does hurt to be left alone when you still love someone and you can bend over backwards and give all you have BUT if the feelings aren't being returned people either walk away or stay and feel the pain and insecurity on a daily basis.

I don't think that we can always control our hearts and we all have different reasons for wanting to be "in love". Wish i could go back 25 years to a time when i didn't need love and all of its complications.

anne

potchie · 09-15-2007, 08:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cryxellis

Love is one of the major problem in the world.
Do you agree?

yes if we have a problem with love, made us really upset and depress, but i never take this as a major problem, its a problem make us grow and learn.

krahmaan · 05-24-2008, 05:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by potchie

yes if we have a problem with love, made us really upset and depress, but i never take this as a major problem, its a problem make us grow and learn.

Well said.

Wow, I almost forgot about this thread and it's contents. Wouldn't want to forget this, it's a valuable lesson.

peterlh35 · 05-24-2008, 07:40 PM

its hard to find a right partner these day...

krahmaan · 05-27-2008, 01:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by peterlh35

its hard to find a right partner these day...

Let them find you. I now believe that if I do my best and work on myself, then I'll be fit when she finds me.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cryxellis

Love is one of the major problem in the world.
Do you agree?

Yes, lack of love. Or just lack of human respect for one another.

spanish.ire · 05-27-2008, 01:08 AM

indeed love sprouts when you grow as a being with your partner...

krahmaan · 05-27-2008, 01:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by spanish.ire

indeed love sprouts when you grow as a being with your partner...

I like that. Seems that love in a relationship can constantly grow rather than the fire just going out?

jabo · 05-27-2008, 01:18 AM

relationship grows and evolves as so with the people involve. relationships can make some one better or sad to say, worse.

they say that the best love is the kind that wakes us all
and makes us reach for more
it plants fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds... Nicholas Sparks