Employee Rules and Regulations ...

[astrovineet]

*Dress Code*
It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary.

If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise.

If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better,so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore do not need a raise.

If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore do not need a raise.

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*Sick Days*
We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness.

If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

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*Personal Days*

Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday and Sunday.

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*Toilet Use*

Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls.

At the end of the three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open and a picture will be taken.

After your second offence, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the "Chronic Offenders category".

Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sectioned under the company's mental health policy!

You are allowed to use the rest room only thrice a day and you have to swipe in and out from the toilet doors also.

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*Lunch Break*

Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy.

Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.

Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a slim fast.

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*Mails*

Don't read junk and forwarded mails.

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Thank you for your loyalty to our company.

We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore,

All questions, comments,concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.

The Management.



from a friend

[jamaine12]

Whooa!If all companies implement that rules...I'd rather stay at home and not work anymore!ahahahaha!

[mabel01]

wtf!?? there's no way I would want to work with that kind of company! LOL!

[John Scott]

It's hereby the V7 Inc Company Policy.

[mabel01]

Originally Posted by John Scott

It's hereby the V7 Inc Company Policy.

do you actually implement this to your company??

*Lunch Break*

Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy.

Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.

Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a slim fast.

[chicgeek]

Originally Posted by John Scott

It's hereby the V7 Inc Company Policy.

And how many people work in the office currently...?

Thought so.

[astrovineet]

Originally Posted by chicgeek

And how many people work in the office currently...?

Thought so.

I guess.. John and John only......

[mabel01]

haha! and he strictly have to follow these regulations!

[John Scott]

Originally Posted by chicgeek

And how many people work in the office currently...?

Thought so.

Only Reiko, but I can still be mean to her until we get more staff to terrorize.

[kristeejo]

what happened to that charming seda

[John Scott]

Expired Visa.

[kristeejo]

the women of japan are safer

[Zap]

I think he just ran out to get another prescription filled for his penecillin.

[chicgeek]

Originally Posted by kristeejo

the women of japan are safer

LOL. You do realize he has a girlfriend though, right?

[kristeejo]

my heart goes out to her.

[Zap]

Originally Posted by chicgeek

LOL. You do realize he has a girlfriend though, right?

Better make it a double prescription, then.

[swiftmed]

nah, id tell my boss to shove it up his arse if he wanted to implement those rules, and im my own boss