jokes

[ezhel]

hahaha!just kidding!for more infos check this

Originally Posted by Kryvast

lalalala I was just asking if the spelling was really difinately and not definitely

Stay out of this thread? make me harharhar

[Kryvast]

See everything can be explained

[TheFriend]

http://www.comedycentral.com/jokes/index.jhtml

[G10]

The stockbroker was nervous about being in prison because his cellmate looked like a real thug.

"Don't worry," the gruff looking fellow said, "I'm in here for a white collar crime too."

"Well, that's a relief," sighed the stockbroker. "I was sent to prison for fraud and insider trading."

"Oh nothing fancy like that for me," grinned the convict. "I just murdered a couple of priests."

[Cricket]

That was so dang stupid it was funny.

[zeruel]

A group of girlfriends is on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: "For Women Only." Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in.

The bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works. "We have 5 floors. Go up floor by floor, and once you find what you are looking for, you can stay there. It's easy to decide since each floor has a sign telling you what's inside."

So they start going up and on the first floor the sign reads: "All the men on this floor are short and plain." The friends laugh and without hesitation move on to the next floor.

The sign on the second floor reads: "All the men here are short and handsome." Still, this isn't good enough, so the friends continue on up.

They reach the third floor and the sign reads: "All the men here are tall and plain."

They still want to do better, and so, knowing there are still two floors left, they continued on up.

On the fourth floor, the sign is perfect: "All the men here are tall and handsome." The women get all excited and are going in when they realize that there is still one floor left. Wondering what they are missing, they head on up to the fifth floor.

There they find a sign that reads: "There are no men here. This floor was built only to prove that there is no way to please a woman."

Source

[TheFriend]

That was a nice joke! Funny........

[css25]

A woman is having an affair during the day while her husband is at work. Her nine-year-old son comes home unexpectedly, sees the illegal lovers and hides in the bedroom cupboard to watch. Then the woman's husband unexpectedly comes home.

She hides her lover in the cupboard, not realizing that her little boy is in there already.
The little Boy says: "Dark in here."
The Man says: "Yes, it is."
Boy: "I have a soccer ball, do you want to buy it?"
Man: "No, thanks."
Boy: "My dad's outside, I'll call him if you don't buy it!"
Man: "OK, how much?"
Boy: "£250-00."

A few weeks later it happened again and the boy and the lover were in the cupboard together again.
Boy: "Dark in here."
Man: "Yes, it is."
Boy: "I have soccer boots."
The Man, remembering the last time, asks the boy: "How much?"
The Boy says:"£750-00."
The Man says: "Fine, I will buy them."
few days later, the Father says to the boy:
"Grab your ball and boots, let's go outside and have a game."
The Boy says: "I can't, I sold them for £1000."
The Father says:
"That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that...
£1000 is way more than those two things cost.
I'm going to take you to church and make you confess your sins."

They go to church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession
booth and he closes the door.

The Boy says: "Dark in here."
The Priest says: "Don't start that sh!t again!"

Happy reading

[StarLab]

There is a new study out about women and how they feel about their asses!
I thought the results were pretty interesting:

85% of women think their ass is too fat...

10% of women think their ass is too skinny...

The other 5% say that they don't care, they love him, he's a good man, and
they would have married him anyway.

[jhuynh1026]

the jokes are quite amusing and very funny. where did you get the jokes?

[peterlh35]

thank god i got a good laught now i think i can go to sleep now.

[zeruel]

hahaha! keep them coming guys! LOL!

[savita]

he he he very funny jokes.
thanks

[selfhelpebooks]

Good jokes!
Here is one of my favorites, albeit nerdy (corny):
-Why was the math book sad?
-Because it had too many problems.

[jhuynh1026]

lol. that was funny yet quite nasty.. hahas... what a funny and smart monkey! =)

[StarLab]

A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer who was also a blonde.

The blonde cop asked to see the blonde driver's license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated. "What does it look like?" she finally asked.

The policewoman replied, "It's square and it has your picture on it."

The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman.

"Here it is," she said.

The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, "Okay, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop."

[Sun and kisses]

thanks everyone for the joke i really enjoy reading all of them haha

[hem]

Good one...thanks for your post.

[wicca]

Funny jokes guys..
sorry i don't have a joke..but thanks for sharing..
Can't stop laughing..hahahahah

-jamilla

[ewomack]

Q: How many otters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: If you don't know, you otter.

That's the best joke I know.