Why does exes want to be friends after a bad break-up?

[dee_el07]

I wanna know why and I am just curious.. I mean, unless it was a mutual decision between the two to go to their own separate way.. But why would the person who initiated the break-up want and still care to remain in touch? Why would it matter to them to remain friends? I am directing this more towards the bad break-ups where hurtful and damaging things was said and done..

[Steveorm3l]

Although it would make things much easier in the dating world, relationships rarely see mutual breakups. One person is usually the heartbreaker, while the other mulls over the breakup and pain for weeks, even months. It's never easy to break up with someone you've shared good times with (and even if they were bad times, they were still times ).

But the person who does the breaking up feels like less of a bad guy by offering that sense of truce: "It's not you, it's me. We'll still be friends, right?" This peace offering of friendship provides the dumper with the solace of knowing they aren't such a horrible person because they still want to be friends with their ex.

[ScriptMan]

Said nicely Steveorm31 said it well:

But the person who does the breaking up feels like less of a bad guy by offering that sense of truce: "It's not you, it's me. We'll still be friends, right?" This peace offering of friendship provides the dumper with the solace of knowing they aren't such a horrible person because they still want to be friends with their ex.

Said a different way, it is because they are control freaks. They don't want you but they really don't want you to give your all to another. I actually know someone who was upset because they were not invited to the wedding of a long ago ex.

edit: Most people think hate is the opposite of love. That is not right. Indiffrence is the opposite of love. Love and hate are strong binding emotions. Indifference sets you free.

[otto101]

Most people that do that,have other people they want to see.Isn't interesting that people break up and hook up around the holidays?
If you're not serious about the person you're with then don't be around them in the holidays.

A simple rule for dating.

[Pretend]

It could also be that it just didn't work. Plenty of people date only to realize that they don't work as a "couple" but they don't want to lose the person completely because they still care for the person. Friendship sometimes is the answer. Happened to me a few times, and I've got a few great, strong friendships because of it.

[kristeejo]

Originally Posted by ScriptMan

edit: Most people think hate is the opposite of love. That is not right. Indiffrence is the opposite of love. Love and hate are strong binding emotions. Indifference sets you free.

ohhh you are so right about this. I may put this on a plaque and hang it on my friggin wall.

[zeruel]

Exactly. Very well said indeed...

Originally Posted by ScriptMan

edit: Most people think hate is the opposite of love. That is not right. Indiffrence is the opposite of love. Love and hate are strong binding emotions. Indifference sets you free.

My views about it, Friendship is what we could offer to the ones we loved before . Even if it is a bad ending, we still need or want to cherish the good times and the bad times we had with that person. And being friends would be our last resort.

Time will pass and bad memories would fade away when friendship is there between the two of you. Being friends with your ex doesn't mean you want him/her again for a couple... For old time sake is a factor also.

[jamaine12]

Maybe because they already realizes their fault and also see your real value to them..

[Atom]

If indiffrence is the opposite of love, what is the opposite of hate?

[Atom]

Moderation is the key, but love will always be the opposite of hate, IMO.

[Atom]

Here is an interesting quote:

"The music that really turns me on is either running toward God or away from God. Both recognize the pivot, that God is at the center of the jaunt."
::: Bono :::

[sleepyhead]

Originally Posted by ScriptMan

edit: Most people think hate is the opposite of love. That is not right. Indiffrence is the opposite of love. Love and hate are strong binding emotions. Indifference sets you free.

edit: Indifference is the strongest force in the universe. It makes everything it touches meaningless. Love and hate don't stand a chance against it.

[sleepyhead]

Originally Posted by Atom

If indiffrence is the opposite of love, what is the opposite of hate?

Apathy.

[Atom]

IMO, Love and hate are diametrically opposed. They are opposites by nature.

[StrongInTheArm]

Originally Posted by Atom

IMO, Love and hate are diametrically opposed. They are opposites by nature.

That's what I was thinking. Indifference would seem to me to be a mid point between the two.

Or may be they are three legs of a very unlucky millipede

[Atom]

Originally Posted by StrongInTheArm

... Or may be they are three legs of a very unlucky millipede

This is interesting, but I can't figure out. I feel a bit stupid because of it, like I'm supposed to understand it but can't. lol

[StrongInTheArm]

Originally Posted by Atom

This is interesting, but I can't figure out. I feel a bit stupid because of it, like I'm supposed to understand it but can't. lol

Don't let my stupidity make you feel bad about yourself Atom, there really isn't much to understand.

The sentence started out being about a three legged stool, but I got bored with my own words and mixed in the sad story of the millipede with only three legs. Three legged stools are a bit more unstable than a four legged stool.

The important bit of my post was the mid point theory of indifference.

[Atom]

Oh, ok. Dang, I had all these wild theories whizzing through my head, trying to tie it in.

[StrongInTheArm]

Sorr-wee!

Most of the time I'm as deep as the skin on a plate of cold custard. If you remember that about me, you'll never be confused again Atom.