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  #1 (permalink)  
Old 07-09-2008, 07:24 PM
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Problem with Room mate / sort of girlfriendHI

Hi all,

Give me some v7n advice here.

Recently i had a new housemate move in with me (2 weeks ago). We weren't friends before and we had only met once before she moved in.

The day she moved in we got drunk, went out and one thing led to another.

Things sort of progressed from there and it's turned into a boyfriend and girlfriend situation. Not really what I had planned.

How can I get myself out of this sticky mess without leaving a trail of destruction? I don't want to be in a relationship, but since it's been a couple of weeks, and while i can say it's been fun, it's not really the ideal situation.
She really likes me, but the feeling is not as mutual as it may have been at the beginning.

Any advice?

1) Bite the bullet and tell her that she has to find somewhere else to live?
2) Just try to slowly be not interested till she gets the point?
3) help me please....
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Old 07-09-2008, 07:33 PM
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i can say it's been fun, it's not really the ideal situation
What the...

your a prick if you do that.
from the first place why did you entertain her if you don't have any plans of a relationship.
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Old 07-09-2008, 07:37 PM
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I was never looking for a relationship, it just sort of happened. I thought we were just going to have a laugh, not anything else.

It's only been 2 weeks so this is why i want to try and sort it now before it get too serious.
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Old 07-09-2008, 09:17 PM
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I would say tough it out... what's so bad about her? Maybe it happened for a reason and she will be the one for you in the end.

aww.
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Old 07-09-2008, 09:20 PM
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Well, you could ask her if a relationship is really something she's after herself, or if she just feels it's necessary to justify living together and occasionally having sex.
If it was me, I'd explain that it's fun hanging out with her, and that I enjoy the sex... but even after two weeks if I wasn't feeling anthing, I'd explain that I don't feel like there's a deep emotional connection, and it just feels like she's a mate that also happens to be a bit of a casual. I'd also explain that if she was cool with it being THAT sort of relationship, I'd be happy to continue it, but otherwise I'm happy to just be friends and roomies.

Frankly, it's a delicate situation, and there's no way you're going to get out of it without her being at least slightly pissed off at you.
 
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Old 07-09-2008, 11:06 PM
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It is really hard to differentiate the feeling of being entertained to actually liking some one for a more than friends sort of thing. It is difficult to be in your place right now. Why don't you just talk to her? Communicate that there is no mutuality anymore, that you were just distracted and bit more than you could chew... but, I think you will have to expect a slap or something from that.
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Old 07-09-2008, 11:11 PM
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I know i've not been on my best behavior, but it was unexpected. You should NEVER sleep with a housemate. I've learnt my lesson the hard way this time.
It doesn't help that we've only been sober one night in the past 2 weeks. Get drunk, lose inhibitions etc, i think that's part of the problem.

I'll have a chat with her tonight to see if we can work it out without her having to find another place.

Ta for helping out here
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Old 07-10-2008, 12:14 AM
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First of all keep your pecker in your pants from now on, this is vitally important!

Second, you need to sit her down and have a serious, adult conversation and get these issues into the open. There will be some hurt feelings no doubt, but who knows she may feel the same way too.

There is no way to avoid it, this will be messy. You better hope she isn't a bunny boiler!

Thirdly, keep your pecker in your pants from now on, especially on a first date, or when some one moves in with you!

Fourthly, only share your place with males from now on. They don't smell as nice but then again you are unlikely to get drunk and have one thing leading to another.
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Old 07-10-2008, 12:26 AM
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What?

Are there any eggs?

Who's dog is this...

No...that painting aint going up in here...


(easy)
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Old 07-10-2008, 12:59 AM
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Change the locks and don't answer your phone. Anytime a girlfriend leaves toothbrush, clothes, tampons or any item at your place...put it in a box and tell them "they forgot the items"........And never.....I mean never give them a key!
 
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Old 07-10-2008, 01:02 AM
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Change the locks and don't answer your phone. Anytime a girlfriend leaves toothbrush, clothes, tampons or any item at your place...put it in a box and tell them "they forgot the items"........And never.....I mean never give them a key!

Does this mean I have to stop payment on your car?
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Old 07-10-2008, 01:11 AM
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That's a tough situation though. But if I were you, don't act and feel like your sorry for yourself and for her..and don't even talk to her and show her that you are concern about what had happened to both of you.

Honestly, if she's really a decent women, she wont let that scenario happen in the first place.

Now, If you don't want to the deed again then don't! as easy as that.
 
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Old 07-10-2008, 01:40 AM
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Hhhmmm, there's no easy way to break somebody's heart... I think you need to tell her the truth, that is if you don't really like her.
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Old 07-10-2008, 01:48 AM
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You should talk to her, be a man and accept the circumstances that my occur. Just be honest to the girl, it's not going to be easy but atleast you do the right thing.
 
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Old 07-10-2008, 01:18 PM
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Your only true option is to talk to her. The way you handle the situation and what you say will either help smooth it over or leave you with a red face and looking for a new tenant.
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Old 07-10-2008, 03:23 PM
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don't listen to all these pussies. just keep sticking it in her. then one night you bring another gal home, but leave the door to your room open, or even do it in the living room, when she walks in on you...look at her and smile...then tell her to join in.
 
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Old 07-10-2008, 03:50 PM
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How about man up talk to the girl and say hey, you can live here But I don't want a relationship. If you still wanna hit it my doors open other than that I don't want to be tied down and living with that person too. Balls in your court. Then see what she says. She may surprise you.
 
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Old 07-10-2008, 09:27 PM
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Tell her the truth and move on.
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Old 07-10-2008, 10:10 PM
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I like Blender's option heheh

I can so see something like that with a "Oh, I thought that was just how you were lowering the amount of rent and chores you had"
 
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Old 07-10-2008, 11:12 PM
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Tell her the truth and move on.
ok.. you could either move on doing it casually with her, no string attach, just for the pleasure, or move on and forget her?
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