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Old 02-24-2012, 05:53 PM
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Wink Best way to get your teen off the couch and the PS3?

We have an almost 20 year old at home who does nothing and barely leaves the house. If she's awake, she's either watching a streaming movie/TV or playing something on the PS3.

How can I get her to tone it down the games and move on with her life and maybe even move out? LOL
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Old 02-24-2012, 06:08 PM
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Quite frankly, should have been addressed along the way and not finally now that she is almost 20 ...

Time for a bit of tough love, I'd say. If she needs help developing skills or learning HOW to go about doing for herself, then it's a parent's place to teach her. But if you pay the bills and allow her to do nothing, you're just enabling it. You're the parent ... set some boundaries and let her know you have expectations of her.

That's what I'd do at least. But as I said ... that's something better built into a child all along the way, not something you leave until they are 20 years old. Sorry if that sounds harsh. I'm just a little fed up with parenting I've seen around town lately.
 
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Old 02-24-2012, 06:27 PM
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I am going to assume she is not in college.

Tell her she has 1 month to find a job and 2 months to find an apartment or start paying rent and board. Also instruct her that if she doesn't help around the house and you do not see progress on both of these within a week, the internet, TV and PS3 are being locked down. If she doesn't meet the conditions lock those items down. After 2 months if she doesn't pay rent, changes the locks.

At this point you are doing her harm by allowing this behavior. It need to end ASAP.
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Old 02-25-2012, 12:18 PM
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Tell her she will need to start paying rent for here portion of food, electric, etc., on a certain date, giving her time to get a job. If it works out, she will then start to pay you and decide she'd rather pay for her own place.

Personally, I believe in prevention. I have two boys who will never own a video game system, etc., without working to sane the money for them. PERIOD.
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Old 02-25-2012, 12:20 PM
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Originally Posted by Nealrm View Post
I am going to assume she is not in college.

Tell her she has 1 month to find a job and 2 months to find an apartment or start paying rent and board. Also instruct her that if she doesn't help around the house and you do not see progress on both of these within a week, the internet, TV and PS3 are being locked down. If she doesn't meet the conditions lock those items down. After 2 months if she doesn't pay rent, changes the locks.

At this point you are doing her harm by allowing this behavior. It need to end ASAP.
Good lord, you sounded just like my dad when i was 19 years old. (I agree with your response)

After highschool it was either go to college and have everything paid for or pay rent/expenses for living at home. Time to be responsible after you get out of highschool. Mommy and Daddy shouldn't be easy and tell your kid it's time to act like an adult and get on with your life.

His talk worked, i got a full time job after computer school and moved out later in the year when i was 19 years old.

FYI, put passwords on all your computers/laptop's and lockup the PS3, also take the cell phone away and give access if she starts to pay for room and board. She may be mad at you but it's time to do something now or she will be living with you for the next 20 years.
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Old 02-25-2012, 12:46 PM
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My high school graduation present from mom & dad was luggage. The subtlety wasnt lost on me, but then i didnt any more plan to stay in the nest than they had plans to let me.

Had to work to pay for college anyway, so there wasnt time to spend on the couch. Took job as a butchers apprentice to cover college bills and a second job as a security guard at an apartment complex so i'd have "free" rent. Bought my first house before my junior year in college. Self-sufficiency was something drilled in early on.

The folks were happy to help if we asked, but they didnt plan to treat us as kids when we hit adult-hood, so it was just sorta understood growing up... you got outta high school, left for college, and that was when permanent residence at the hacienda was done.

If that lesson hasnt already been imparted, the longer it's delayed the harder it'll get. If she isnt interested in college, might suggest she try the military. Theyre good at helping kids become responsible adults, and the training available can lead to nice jobs on the outside. My son went straight into the USMC and it was good for him in a lotta ways. Aside from him maturing into an extroardinary young adult in a hurry he came out with avionics training that translated into outstanding job prospects when he got out. He also got GI benefits to use for college.
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Old 03-01-2012, 03:15 PM
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Tell her you'll give her 1 or $1 for every 3 minute round she does on the punchbag, start with 3 rounds of skipping, that'll get her moving
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Old 03-01-2012, 04:55 PM
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Your house your rules. I agree with the above, but I wouldn't make the ultimatum hitting the streets. If you do you might end up as the grandparent on the dish commercial with a grand baby with a spiked collar Got to be constructive, and set time / result driven milestones. Gotta work, and gotta pay the bills.
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Old 03-01-2012, 06:09 PM
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It is tough love.

Sit her down and mention that on the first of <insert month> her rent will be due.

Rob's suggestion isn't bad either.
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