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SE's really take the fact that some links are paid as a negative factor?
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Yes.
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well theres no way to make that undectable then.
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It is very easy to make them undetectable. Just do not mark them as paid.
I could link to 20 sites in this very post, and nobody other than me and the link buyer would know that they were paid.
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if they humanly know that you charge for ur directory then they can devaluate it.
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They could, but they don't. They do not know which sites are paid for, and which are added by editors. Matt Cutts has in fact recommended a paid directory or two. Directories are fine as long as they maintain editorial integrity.