Hi I'm sorry I did not reply sooner. Thank you both for your suggestions.
You are right that the buttons thing is dependent on the site...I guess I focussed on it in my frustration because I can't seem to find anything that is for graphics and not photos.
I can't find anything that shows how to use those filters, or how to use brushes (I only just learned what brushes were actually in this last week, I always thought people were drawing all those designs themselves).
I know how to touch up photos, and that is all I can find. The "web graphic" books I have found don't teach how to use all those elements...the tools, the brushes, the filters etc except as directly applicable to photos. Since I have absolutely no idea at all how to make a photoshop website design for example, I don't know what tools I would even use or what the effects are called so I can't google it to find examples to follow.
I don't have the vocabulary and that is a problem with internet tutorials. I'd prefer a book because I am on the bus a lot and learned CSS through a book mostly on the bus.
HTML Basic Tutor: That book sounds good, especially the exercises to build certain graphics. That is what I need. Once I have the foundations I can go forth and grow and learn on my own. It's the foundation that is proving difficult for me because I just have no idea how computer graphical design works.
I am going to see if I can find it, thank you