Funny Marketing Jokes

[Rankenstein]

A very succesful, high-flying marketer passed away and as his soul floated serenely into the afterlife, he wondered where he would end up, heaven or hell? Indeed, as soon as St Peter hove into view, he urged the venerable arbiter to clear it up quickly.
"For once in my life, let's cut to the bottom line, St Grandad. I won't try and sell if you don't try and spin. Hot or cold?"
"Oh, you're a marketer? Well, my son, as with all marketers, the choice is yours."
"No kidding?"
"No kidding, son. Let's take the tour. Where do you want to see first?"
"Since we're already here, let's take a look at paradise."
So through the Pearly Gates they went. It was exactly as one would expect.
"Hey, this is exceptionally serene. I was gonna put myself into a place like this. If it wasn't for the old ticker, you know?"
"It grows on you too," came back St Peter. "Just when you think you've heard the whole repertory of the Celestial Choir, an even more beautiful chorus comes along. You'll love it here."
"Whoah! You know, I think you're right but I wanna see this from every angle, OK. No disrespect, but a deal's a deal, right? Let's take it downstairs."
Off they went to Hell, and to his amazement he was led through a succession of bars and clubs, each better than the last, each more and more packed with people literally having a hell of a time. Music, drinks, amazing food, gorgeous women. The tour ended and they found themselves in front of the Pearly Gates once more. St Peter asked for the salesman's final decision.
"Hey, don't get me wrong, Heaven's great, I mean it. The thing is, your holiness, I think the other place is more me. I was never one for ascetic contemplation, for one thing. And anyway, that's what my life was like anyway, so I'm gonna with what I know, OK? Thanks, though."
So down he went to hell, where he was thrown into the fiery pits, flayed, burned, chained to the wall of a cave, taken down, pokers, pliers, the works.
"Hey! What about the parties? The wild lifestyle? Hedonism?"
"Oh, that?" said an attendant demon. "That was just something the boys from Marketing put together."