Funny Marketing Jokes

Rankenstein · 07-31-2006, 09:00 AM

A very succesful, high-flying marketer passed away and as his soul floated serenely into the afterlife, he wondered where he would end up, heaven or hell? Indeed, as soon as St Peter hove into view, he urged the venerable arbiter to clear it up quickly.
"For once in my life, let's cut to the bottom line, St Grandad. I won't try and sell if you don't try and spin. Hot or cold?"
"Oh, you're a marketer? Well, my son, as with all marketers, the choice is yours."
"No kidding?"
"No kidding, son. Let's take the tour. Where do you want to see first?"
"Since we're already here, let's take a look at paradise."
So through the Pearly Gates they went. It was exactly as one would expect.
"Hey, this is exceptionally serene. I was gonna put myself into a place like this. If it wasn't for the old ticker, you know?"
"It grows on you too," came back St Peter. "Just when you think you've heard the whole repertory of the Celestial Choir, an even more beautiful chorus comes along. You'll love it here."
"Whoah! You know, I think you're right but I wanna see this from every angle, OK. No disrespect, but a deal's a deal, right? Let's take it downstairs."
Off they went to Hell, and to his amazement he was led through a succession of bars and clubs, each better than the last, each more and more packed with people literally having a hell of a time. Music, drinks, amazing food, gorgeous women. The tour ended and they found themselves in front of the Pearly Gates once more. St Peter asked for the salesman's final decision.
"Hey, don't get me wrong, Heaven's great, I mean it. The thing is, your holiness, I think the other place is more me. I was never one for ascetic contemplation, for one thing. And anyway, that's what my life was like anyway, so I'm gonna with what I know, OK? Thanks, though."
So down he went to hell, where he was thrown into the fiery pits, flayed, burned, chained to the wall of a cave, taken down, pokers, pliers, the works.
"Hey! What about the parties? The wild lifestyle? Hedonism?"
"Oh, that?" said an attendant demon. "That was just something the boys from Marketing put together."

ppokyh · 07-31-2006, 09:06 AM

LOL nice punch line

John Scott · 07-31-2006, 09:09 AM

MrMean · 07-31-2006, 09:20 AM

Optix · 08-01-2006, 03:35 AM

AHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!
LOL

Funny Ish!

.~Optix~.

praveen · 08-01-2006, 04:06 AM

andrewp · 08-01-2006, 11:00 AM

Haha good one

waffles · 08-01-2006, 11:16 AM

Nice.

svix · 08-01-2006, 12:24 PM

Not bad, not bad

Now I see why Bill last name is Gates

elianna · 05-07-2009, 05:56 AM

Tragedy

John Kerry visits a primary school and sits in on one of the classes, which is in the middle of a discussion of words and their meaning.

The teacher asks Mr. Kerry if he would like to lead the discussion of the word "tragedy".

So, the illustrious leader asks the class for an example of a "tragedy."

One little boy stands up and offers: "If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a runaway tractor comes along and knocks him dead, that would be a tragedy.

"That's wrong," Kerry says. "That would be considered an accident."

A little girl raises her hand: "If a school bus carrying 50 children drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy."

"You are completely incorrect" says the Senator. "That would be what we
would consider a great loss".

The room goes silent. No other children volunteer. Kerry searches the room. "Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?"

Finally at the back of the room a small boy raises his hand. In a quiet voice he says: "If a plane carrying Senator John Kerry was struck by a missile and blown to smithereens, that would be a tragedy".

"Fantastic !" exclaims Kerry. "You are absolutely right. Can you tell me why that would be a tragedy?"

"Well," says the boy, "because it sure as heck wouldn't be a great loss and it probably wouldn't be an accident!"
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w3bmaster · 05-07-2009, 09:55 AM

I love such jokes

motoraway19 · 05-12-2009, 11:13 AM

warrichpk · 05-12-2009, 11:25 AM

lolzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
very funny

jamie-patrick · 05-14-2009, 02:26 AM

lovely Stuff!Please could we have some more?

Tom Lensar · 05-14-2009, 05:18 AM

LOL. Sometime good to make fun. Nice joke

elianna · 07-02-2009, 01:59 PM

Very early one morning two birds are sitting at the side of a large puddle of oil. They see a worm on the other side. So ... the one flies over and the other one swims through-which one gets to the worm first? The one who swam, of course, because "Da oily boid gets da woim."

There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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