1. One to deny that the light bulb needs to be changed
2. One to attack the patriotism of anyone who says the light bulb needs to be changed.
3. One to blame Clinton for burning out the light bulb.
4. One to tell the nations of the world that they are either for changing the light bulb or for darkness.
5. One to give a billion dollar no-bid/cost-plus contract to Halliburton for the new light bulb.
6. One to arrange a photograph of Bush, dressed as a janitor, standing on a stepladder under the
banner: "Light Bulb Change Accomplished."
7. One administration insider to resign and write a book documenting in detail how Bush was literally in the dark.
8. One to viciously smear #7.
9. One surrogate to campaign on TV and at rallies on how George Bush has had a strong light bulb changing policy all along.
10. Joe Lieberman to confuse Americans about the difference between screwing the light bulb and screwing the country.
11. One to create new tax breaks for the manufacturer of the light bulb to move its factories overseas.
12. One to suggest that layed-off American lightbulb makers train their foreign replacements.
13. One to change the name of “ light bulb” to “Devine-Light Bulb From Above”.
14. One to create a Constitutional Amendment banning “gays” from screwing in bulbs.
15. One to promote the “trickle down light” theory, where poor people get scraps of light from bulbs exclusively screwed by the rich.
16. One to represent the "Light Bulb Twisters for Truth and Justice" in their claim that Thomas Edison was actually out of the country when the light bulb was invented, and that he was in fact a cowardly traitor, incapable of twisting, let alone inventing a light bulb.
17. "We would not comment on, confirm, or deny, any elements of our light bulb changing procedures in the interest of maintaining the operational security and integrity of said procedures, if in fact those procedures exist...
...but we've heard Valerie Plame does it sometimes. Next question..."
but we know they don't screw in light bulbs, they just screw in airport bathrooms.
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