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Cricket 05-30-2010 11:37 AM

The Other Side Of The Monitor
 
Do you ever stop to think who is on the other side of the monitor? Do you always remember that it is a breathing human being? When you post in a community, do you consider how your words might be taken by others? Do you care? Even when someone post a question that we consider completely stupid or rude, does our own response add to the problem? Or, do we go out of our way to help turn a negative into a positive?

Does being right but humiliating others make us more right? Do we imagine that people are watching and thinking how smart we are?

Do we stop for even one second to think how we made that person on the other side of the monitor feel?

I have heard people say that if someone post something stupid or rude, they deserve whatever they get as a response. Seriously? Have we considered that we have no clue what is going on in their lives? Perhaps they are completely alone in life and they're just looking for some attention. Maybe our response can show them a better way through our own example.

Have we considered that they may be extremely depressed and are acting out? Could our response make a difference, not just for the individual, but for the community as a whole? We don't know what is going on in their lives, but as in any community, we know that right now, in this moment, we are all dealing with our own issues.

Right now, someone is trying to deal with a loss of a loved one. Someone else may be dealing with extensive financial difficulties or has been burned so many times that they choose to hurt others before someone can hurt them. They may even be considering taking their own life. We simply don't know.

One thing we know for sure though, on the other side of that monitor is a human being.

Am I asking that we be "nice" to those who we honestly feel don't deserve it?

I am simply suggesting that maybe we consider if our own response helps or hurts the community as a whole. Perhaps we can make a difference in someone's life today, just by giving a dang.

Just my 2 cents . . .

Jim Gillum 05-30-2010 11:58 AM

What did I do now?........

I try to be considerate of the other persons point of view.......
Normally, on any forum I generally stick to the info type threads and not so much the opinion types.....
I know I am opinionated and stubborn....I also understand that other members have different life experiences which can alter their perspectives regarding a particular subject.

As the years pass, I am more compassionate toward those who have problems and difficulties in life....
And never criticize someone for a "stupid" post.....maybe they just don't know....:)

Would never call anyone a ($%$#) or a (**&&^%) or even a (^%%$#*)...even if they deserved it....;)

Cricket 05-30-2010 12:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jim Gillum (Post 1404245)
What did I do now?........

I try to be considerate of the other persons point of view.......
Normally, on any forum I generally stick to the info type threads and not so much the opinion types.....
I know I am opinionated and stubborn....I also understand that other members have different life experiences which can alter their perspectives regarding a particular subject.

As the years pass, I am more compassionate toward those who have problems and difficulties in life....
And never criticize someone for a "stupid" post.....maybe they just don't know....:)

Would never call anyone a ($%$#) or a (**&&^%) or even a (^%%$#*)...even if they deserved it....;)

Smiles . . .

My post was not directed to any specific person but rather a desire for all of us (myself included) to remember the person on the other side of the monitor.

Sometimes it is so easy to get caught up in drama that just doesn't much matter in the long run. And I agree with you. Over the years I think I have become much more compassionate and tolerant simply because life is too dang short to do otherwise. However, I still toss a keyboard now and then. ;)

Jim Gillum 05-30-2010 12:40 PM

I have gotten away from keyboard tossing....
I use a laptop.......:puter:

Cricket 05-30-2010 01:15 PM

I prefer to smash something a little less expensive than a laptop. ;)

Jim Gillum 05-30-2010 01:40 PM

Could just skip that and "get" smashed........mmmmmm...Black Russians....

mjtaylor 05-30-2010 03:28 PM

I bow to your art, Cricket. That you see the world as you do and are able to express your points of view so eloquently has created what I believe must be the warmest community in our industry. Your are a social artist of the heart, and it is this I most admire in you.

ScriptMan 05-30-2010 03:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cricket (Post 1404236)
Do you ever stop to think who is on the other side of the monitor? Do you always remember that it is a breathing human being? When you post in a community, do you consider how your words might be taken by others? Do you care? Even when someone post a question that we consider completely stupid or rude, does our own response add to the problem? Or, do we go out of our way to help turn a negative into a positive?

Does being right but humiliating others make us more right? Do we imagine that people are watching and thinking how smart we are?

Do we stop for even one second to think how we made that person on the other side of the monitor feel?

I have heard people say that if someone post something stupid or rude, they deserve whatever they get as a response. Seriously? Have we considered that we have no clue what is going on in their lives? Perhaps they are completely alone in life and they're just looking for some attention. Maybe our response can show them a better way through our own example.

Have we considered that they may be extremely depressed and are acting out? Could our response make a difference, not just for the individual, but for the community as a whole? We don't know what is going on in their lives, but as in any community, we know that right now, in this moment, we are all dealing with our own issues.

Right now, someone is trying to deal with a loss of a loved one. Someone else may be dealing with extensive financial difficulties or has been burned so many times that they choose to hurt others before someone can hurt them. They may even be considering taking their own life. We simply don't know.

One thing we know for sure though, on the other side of that monitor is a human being.

Am I asking that we be "nice" to those who we honestly feel don't deserve it?

I am simply suggesting that maybe we consider if our own response helps or hurts the community as a whole. Perhaps we can make a difference in someone's life today, just by giving a dang.

Just my 2 cents . . .


.



I will venture the opinion that that is worth a heck of a lot more than 2 cents.

Cricket 05-30-2010 05:28 PM

Someone once told me that I see the world through rose colored glasses, but ya know what? I am okay with that. :)

DocSheldon 05-31-2010 07:51 PM

Good post, Cricket. Reminds me of my grandmother, that was always telling me (and she had to say it a LOT!), "If you can't think of something nice to say, then don't say anything at all".

In my younger days, I tended to not trust anyone until they'd done something to deserve my trust. As I got older, I found myself trusting people, until they'd given me a reason to withhold that trust. I like that approach a lot better. Of course, now that I'm older (and presumably, if not wiser, at least less stupid), I'm better able to see dishonesty than when I was young, so I'm really not more vulnerable. I just find that I can connect with people a lot easier, if I'm willing to connect.

Nothin' wrong with rose colored glasses! ;)

What you say about all of us having issues to deal with, is very valid, and should affect the way we respond to people. I'd sure hate to think that something I said was the "straw that broke the camel's back" for someone that was on the edge of despair.

Jim Gillum 05-31-2010 11:31 PM

To clarify DocCs post.....(from the old politician)

He does not mean that you remind him of his grandmother....
But one of her sayings....;)

(Think I saved you DocC)

grishamist 06-01-2010 07:23 PM

Also consider it as a good post. As much as possible, I don't want to declare a war between other users or like your term "the other side monitor" coz' maybe that specific people have their own bad experience and really adapt that attitude when they're grown up. I've been into trouble lately but as you keep your temper and understand the situation very well, you'll just blunting to other side and make yourself busy on some things that makes you cool down a bit.

It's like, "Tomorrow's another day and that another day maybe a start of a great day for you".

detoam 06-04-2010 05:45 AM

Being right isn't always a good thing. Humiliating others, in my opinion, is never a proof that one is smarter or better.
I usually end up laughing at people who insist on being right even when they aren't. Especially when it comes to something that is simply based on opinion.

DocSheldon 06-04-2010 08:23 AM

This thought occurred to me:

When we are on the street, and meet someone new, and treat them with kindness, it leaves a different feeling for both of us. Helping a stranger load something into their car, or recover things spilled from a bag, and then sharing a few friendly words, leaves us (or me, at least) with a good feeling. We did something we didn't have to do, just because we could. We met someone new, and extended a hand, to someone we will probably never come across again.
Both of us walk away with a little better feeling toward our fellow man, for the deed/words, and it puts both of us in a better mood. That simple deed may be the thing that keeps that person's (or ours) day from being a lousy one... even the last one.
I don't think it's that different in our on-line world. Some people enter the ether-world in trepidation, looking over their shoulder, fully expecting to be chastised or insulted... so they're already primed to respond in kind. Each of us has the power to reverse that, by the way we treat them.

orvilleseo 06-06-2010 08:22 AM

actually i'm not after for people to think that i am smart. i will just do what is right and live with dignity... that is a good move..

Cricket 07-26-2010 08:38 PM

A Gentle Reminder:

Please use caution with the words we use that can easily be misunderstood as being disrespectful or flat out rude.

Helpful hint: The use of smilies can go a long way with helping us to add a respectful "tone of voice" to our thoughts. :)

KevinB 07-27-2010 09:54 PM

I always have the fear that I might come across condescending or even brash. I am constantly thinking about how someone might take what I type on the computer, hence why I use LOL and smileys constantly.

Cricket 07-28-2010 06:40 PM

The hoodie makes me look mean so I have to smile a lot. :)

KevinB 07-29-2010 04:57 PM

I thought it just makes you look like you are hiding or something. =)

Cricket 07-31-2010 12:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KevinB (Post 1448814)
I thought it just makes you look like you are hiding or something. =)

Sometimes I do that too, but usually by putting a camera in front of my face. ;)


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