Webmaster Forum

Go Back   Webmaster Forum > Marketing Forums > SEO Forum

SEO Forum Search engine optimization discussions.


Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Share |
  #1 (permalink)  
Old 03-27-2006, 09:43 AM
John Scott's Avatar
Individualist
 
Join Date: 09-27-03
Location: Old School NZ
Posts: 27,806
iTrader: 3 / 100%
Funny SEO Jokes

http://www.stuntdubl.com/2006/03/24/...rs-its-a-joke/
__________________
“It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.”
Individualism.com .::. NZ Tribe :.
 
Reply With Quote
  #2 (permalink)  
Old 03-27-2006, 09:49 AM
Kirk's Avatar
Junior Member
 
Join Date: 03-13-06
Location: UK
Posts: 29
iTrader: 0 / 0%
That's warmed up my cold English evening up MR Scott, well they tickled me anyway.
 
Reply With Quote
  #3 (permalink)  
Old 03-27-2006, 09:52 AM
John Scott's Avatar
Individualist
 
Join Date: 09-27-03
Location: Old School NZ
Posts: 27,806
iTrader: 3 / 100%
Quote:
What is the difference between pigs and SEOs?
You can learn to respect a pig.
LOL
__________________
“It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.”
Individualism.com .::. NZ Tribe :.
 
Reply With Quote
  #4 (permalink)  
Old 03-27-2006, 10:04 AM
Kirk's Avatar
Junior Member
 
Join Date: 03-13-06
Location: UK
Posts: 29
iTrader: 0 / 0%
What have pig's & SEO's got in common?

SPAM,
 
Reply With Quote
  #5 (permalink)  
Old 07-19-2006, 10:42 AM
johnegood's Avatar
Contributing Member
 
Join Date: 07-19-06
Posts: 303
iTrader: 0 / 0%
Q - What's the difference between a seo consultant and a used car salesman?

A - The used car salesman knows when he is lying.
 
Reply With Quote
  #6 (permalink)  
Old 07-24-2006, 09:23 AM
Member
 
Join Date: 04-29-06
Posts: 72
iTrader: 0 / 0%
I noticed that most of the jokes were intended for lawyers before they were edited to fit SEO's.

Can't fault them though cause I can't find much difference between the two.
 
Reply With Quote
  #7 (permalink)  
Old 07-24-2006, 09:59 AM
John Scott's Avatar
Individualist
 
Join Date: 09-27-03
Location: Old School NZ
Posts: 27,806
iTrader: 3 / 100%
Quote:
Originally Posted by kickstart2
Can't fault them though cause I can't find much difference between the two.
LOL
__________________
“It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.”
Individualism.com .::. NZ Tribe :.
 
Reply With Quote
  #8 (permalink)  
Old 07-24-2006, 10:07 AM
chicgeek's Avatar
Contributing Member
Latest Blog:
None

 
Join Date: 08-19-04
Location: Canadian in the UK
Posts: 14,188
iTrader: 0 / 0%
Good joke in itself...
__________________
laura / chicgeek
soprano & web designer
@chicgeek on Twitter
laurakishimoto.ca
 
Reply With Quote
  #9 (permalink)  
Old 07-25-2006, 06:27 AM
Rankenstein's Avatar
v7n Mentor
Latest Blog:
None

 
Join Date: 11-14-05
Location: Manchester
Posts: 3,140
iTrader: 0 / 0%
Pretty funny!

Q: What's the difference between an SEO and an artichoke?
A: The artichoke has a heart.

Q: What do you do if you see an SEO drowning?
A: Take your foot off his head

Funnily enough, before I stumbled into SEO, I was halfway through a law degree. That must mean something, surely?

Edited to add:
From Shakespeare's Henry VI:
"The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers."
__________________
Clean, Fast and Tight
 
Reply With Quote
  #10 (permalink)  
Old 07-02-2007, 07:16 PM
johnegood's Avatar
Contributing Member
 
Join Date: 07-19-06
Posts: 303
iTrader: 0 / 0%
The definition of SEO SPAM?

Site Positioning Above Mine
 
Reply With Quote
  #11 (permalink)  
Old 07-02-2007, 07:18 PM
css25's Avatar
Banned
Latest Blog:
None

 
Join Date: 12-15-06
Location: Asia
Posts: 703
iTrader: 1 / 100%
Quote:
Originally Posted by johnedelson View Post
Q - What's the difference between a seo consultant and a used car salesman?

A - The used car salesman knows when he is lying.
LOL!
 
Reply With Quote
  #12 (permalink)  
Old 07-03-2007, 02:07 AM
Banned
Latest Blog:
None

 
Join Date: 05-10-07
Location: italy
Posts: 171
iTrader: 0 / 0%
nice jokes.. i really laugh and get affected.. errr.. lol.
 
Reply With Quote
  #13 (permalink)  
Old 07-03-2007, 02:42 AM
Contributing Member
Latest Blog:
None

 
Join Date: 01-16-07
Location: Assen, the Netherlands
Posts: 1,360
iTrader: 1 / 100%
Heh, their funny What a hatred towards seo's!

* Reading the lawyer jokes now *

Quote:
A man walking along the beach found a bottle. When he rubbed it, lo and behold, a genie appeared. "I will grant you three wishes," announced the genie. "But there is one condition. I am a lawyer's genie. That means that for every wish you make, every lawyer in the world gets the wish as well - only double." The man thought about this for a while. "For my first wish, I would like ten million dollars," he announced. Instantly the genie gave him a Swiss bank account number and assured the man that $10,000,000 had been deposited. "But every lawyer in the world has just received $20,000,000," the genie said. "I've always wanted a Ferrari," the man said. "That's my second wish." Instantly a Ferrari appeared. "But every lawyer in the world has just received two Ferraris," the genie said. "And what is your last wish?" "Well," said the man, "I've always wanted to donate a kidney for transplant."
LOL!

Quote:
How can you tell if a lawyer is lying?
His lips are moving.
!

Last edited by Jesse Vlasveld; 07-03-2007 at 03:04 AM.
 
Reply With Quote
  #14 (permalink)  
Old 07-03-2007, 03:35 AM
Junior Member
 
Join Date: 12-21-06
Posts: 13
iTrader: 0 / 0%
It is the trade of SEOs to question everything, yield nothing, and to talk by the hour.
–Thomas Jefferson

Ha-ha!
 
Reply With Quote
  #15 (permalink)  
Old 07-03-2007, 04:50 AM
johnegood's Avatar
Contributing Member
 
Join Date: 07-19-06
Posts: 303
iTrader: 0 / 0%
Here's the posting quoted a bit more in its entirety:

Whats the difference between a "SEO Consultant" and a used car salesman?

Answer: The used car salesman knows when he's lying.

First, let me apologize to those of you have have taken offense at that seo joke. Many used car salesman have been calling to complain ..... (ba da ding!)

Yes, that second seo joke was bad. Sadly, the seo industry includes many bad jokes.... (be da ding! be da ding!)

Seriously folks, I've receive alot of calls from SEO sales people and frankly, it would be hard to find a more-misguided group of people. And it's not that they mean to lie, its' just that they "get confused" and carried away and don't seem to really understand much.

My impression is that many of them were part of a SEO effort that resulted in some site coming out number one on some search engine for some keyphrase at some time.

At the time, they might have just been the secretary at the advertising agency that worked with the client.

But, in the course of time, these details got lost. Through the course of exaggeration and confusion, they lost track of what their actual role was and what was actually accomplished. Many of them are now boasting: "My last client used this technique and got to number 1 in 3 days!!!!" When they explain to me what they are planning to do, it seems to me to be very unlikely.

They believe that they really do know how to do SEO cost-effectively (or that they understand what that means), that they really can take any site and bring it to the top of the search engines, and that we should be gratified that they "prepared a customer analysis for you for free" (ie ran a few keyphrases thru some sort of analysis).

This is a true story, I found myself at a lunch with the firm president (saleguy) pushing for a signature on a contract for $5,000 month with no cancellation clause and no "level of effort" commitment nor reporting by the contractor?" If you think I'm exaggerating, I'll show you such a contract. The SEO company that I was meeting with was the one promoted by my hosting firm at the time (Webstream) and they were promoting them when I asked for advice as well as having their advertising across their site. The company pushed the contract to me repeatedly and really expected me to sign.
yick....

*****
In reality, there are really only two people who actually understand how the search engines work. Of course, they disagree....(yes, thats part of the routine....)

*******
My directory of SEO Jokes, Jokes about SEO, and Jokes about Search Engine Optimizers
*******

(OK. That one was a subtle. Did you miss the keyphrase threepeat? Are you paying attention?)

Quoted from -

Last edited by chicgeek; 07-04-2007 at 11:15 AM. Reason: link removed
 
Reply With Quote
  #16 (permalink)  
Old 07-03-2007, 05:07 AM
Banned
Latest Blog:
None

 
Join Date: 05-10-07
Posts: 555
iTrader: 0 / 0%
It's called Hatred with Love for SEO! he...he...
 
Reply With Quote
  #17 (permalink)  
Old 07-03-2007, 05:15 AM
Contributing Member
Latest Blog:
None

 
Join Date: 06-20-07
Posts: 90
iTrader: 0 / 0%
Who dug this thread up ,man ..I have to admit that ,after reading this for three times ,I can understand only half ,may be no sense of humor or my english is so bad.
 
Reply With Quote
  #18 (permalink)  
Old 07-03-2007, 05:27 AM
Rankenstein's Avatar
v7n Mentor
Latest Blog:
None

 
Join Date: 11-14-05
Location: Manchester
Posts: 3,140
iTrader: 0 / 0%
Great post (by johnedelson)! I can sort of understand where people who slag off SEOs are coming from. And you're dead right that the sales guys don't always have much of a grasp of what they're selling.
I've heard SEO sales guys claim some really outlandish stuff. Particularly when they trying to persuade me to take their services.
I've had plenty of conversations like this:

Them: You see we're SEO experts....
Me: Huh, me too. So what do you do?
Them: Well, we work on your site doing x, y and z....
Me: Okay, well I've done that already. Have you looked at the site at all?
Them: Oh yes, we've noticed that you're not ranking for blah blah.
Me: If you go to Google and type in blah blah, oh look, there's my site!
Them: But we're experts.
Me: Yes, me too. Since I'm an SEO why do I need you?
Them: Have you seen our web beacons? We're experts. We'll also try get you to pay us to make pages to rank well, that we own, and that if you don't keep paying us we'll sell it to someone else, and we'll up the charge in a couple of months anyway. It's the best way.

and so it goes on...Actually I'm completely unsurprised and unoffended by jokes about SEO because I've heard what sales guys have said when they're selling on my behalf. I've seen pitches they've written that say things like:
"We will add hidden text to your site"
I didn't make that up, BTW. So a customer who has a clue will run a mile, thinking that the SEO our company is doing is dodgy as hell. When it is really the best in the world. Thanks, sales guys!

Anyhow, SEO is easy enough, very easy given the right site. Knowing what not to do is the hard bit.
__________________
Clean, Fast and Tight
 
Reply With Quote
  #19 (permalink)  
Old 07-03-2007, 06:21 AM
Banned
Latest Blog:
None

 
Join Date: 04-02-07
Posts: 184
iTrader: 0 / 0%
Dead thread getting back to life.....good jokes though.
 
Reply With Quote
  #20 (permalink)  
Old 02-02-2009, 10:28 PM
Banned
 
Join Date: 01-13-09
Location: UK
Posts: 10
iTrader: 0 / 0%
Talking

cool very cool.....nice jokes

[removed]
 
Reply With Quote
Go Back   Webmaster Forum > Marketing Forums > SEO Forum

Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Funny Marketing Jokes Rankenstein Marketing Forum 30 09-08-2009 12:03 AM
Jokes and funny stuff cbolts Forum Lobby 15 08-01-2005 08:57 PM


V7N Network
Get exposure! V7N I Love Photography V7N SEO Blog V7N Directory


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 01:29 PM.
Powered by vBulletin
Copyright © 2000-2014 Jelsoft Enterprises Limited.
Copyright © 2003 - 2014 Escalate Media




Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0 RC 2 ©2011, Crawlability, Inc.