SEO Elite has a very good reputation. Perhaps what might (might - I said might!!) interest you the most is that it comes with a very good set of lessons in pdf format aimed at the beginner in SEO. Well worth reading as he has a good way with words.
Instead of doing anything mechanically you should first try to understand the concepts of search engine optimization. There are many free SEO tools available at sites such as iwebtool.com, seochat.com and seomoz.org. You can use these tools to analyze your website. SEO Elite aids you in finding link partners and sending them mail automatically - however instead of doing it the mechanical way, it is better to do it manually as such mails sound like spam.
And tools are based on what they have been programmed for this way you do what the programmer think is right but if you do it manually with some help from forums you get a lot of views and much accurate strategy.
Tools are great, but you have to understand the concept to get the full benefit form them.
Exactly. SEO software is just a tool to make it easier to perform certain tedious and repetitive tasks. You still have to know why you're doing those tasks in the first place.