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  #1  
Old 04-16-2010, 03:38 AM
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Melani Melani is offline
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Question A couple of questions about writing "sales copy"

Hello all,

I love to write. My problem however, is that I write like I talk which is not necessarily a bad thing, but it's more suited to blogs, forum posts, what have you. That's done me well since up until recently, that's all I've needed it for. In trying to market a new site I've created though, and one that's aimed at Internet Marketers who I've learned are the hardest to write for, I'm coming up with some problems.

I'm wanting to spend this weekend re-writing my "sales" page which I wrote specifically not to be a standard IM sales page. Apparently though, this is hurting my conversion so I'm going to write something more expected and see if that gets me any better results.

I have two main questions to start with...

1. Do people care about me, or do they only care about them?
What I mean is, in my copy I shared information such as how the site came to be, why I wanted to start it and why I think people should join (because I'm so passionate about it).

I've received feedback from one person who said I should scratch all of that and only focus on "them", being the person reading it. That "they" don't care for my life story or why I'm doing something, they just want to know how it's going to help "them".

My question: Is this true? I've seen a lot of IM sales page that share their hard luck story and putting a lot of themselves into it. But should I change my approach? Is a more "them" focused page going to help me more?

2. To bullet point or not to bullet point?
Another portion of the feedback I received, and again, this was only from a couple of people, was that I am too "wordy". No surprise to me there as I always write really long posts lol, but they told me I need to provide the facts in a bullet point list.

So instead of how I have it now, with a heading title and a paragraph underneath explaining what it is, why I have it and how you can use it , I should just mark everything with a bulleted list.

This one I'm torn on. I like to provide as much detail as possible so people know exactly what they're signing up for, but am being told to not offer this much information and leave people wondering/curious. I'm the sort of person that if I'm reading a sales page and still have questions on what exactly the product is or does, I don't buy. Even if it's free I won't grab it unless I know exactly what to expect. Is this the case in general though?

My question: Should I drop some of my information and make it more quick, bulleted lists of benefits?
 
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  #2  
Old 04-16-2010, 05:43 PM
ContentArticleWriter ContentArticleWriter is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Melani View Post
Hello all,

I love to write. My problem however, is that I write like I talk which is not necessarily a bad thing, but it's more suited to blogs, forum posts, what have you. That's done me well since up until recently, that's all I've needed it for. In trying to market a new site I've created though, and one that's aimed at Internet Marketers who I've learned are the hardest to write for, I'm coming up with some problems.

I'm wanting to spend this weekend re-writing my "sales" page which I wrote specifically not to be a standard IM sales page. Apparently though, this is hurting my conversion so I'm going to write something more expected and see if that gets me any better results.

I have two main questions to start with...

1. Do people care about me, or do they only care about them?
What I mean is, in my copy I shared information such as how the site came to be, why I wanted to start it and why I think people should join (because I'm so passionate about it).

I've received feedback from one person who said I should scratch all of that and only focus on "them", being the person reading it. That "they" don't care for my life story or why I'm doing something, they just want to know how it's going to help "them".

My question: Is this true? I've seen a lot of IM sales page that share their hard luck story and putting a lot of themselves into it. But should I change my approach? Is a more "them" focused page going to help me more?

2. To bullet point or not to bullet point?
Another portion of the feedback I received, and again, this was only from a couple of people, was that I am too "wordy". No surprise to me there as I always write really long posts lol, but they told me I need to provide the facts in a bullet point list.

So instead of how I have it now, with a heading title and a paragraph underneath explaining what it is, why I have it and how you can use it , I should just mark everything with a bulleted list.

This one I'm torn on. I like to provide as much detail as possible so people know exactly what they're signing up for, but am being told to not offer this much information and leave people wondering/curious. I'm the sort of person that if I'm reading a sales page and still have questions on what exactly the product is or does, I don't buy. Even if it's free I won't grab it unless I know exactly what to expect. Is this the case in general though?

My question: Should I drop some of my information and make it more quick, bulleted lists of benefits?
TAKE THOSE CONSIDERATIONS INTO ACCOUNT!!! On your blog or site you can talk about you all you want. But when it comes to Ad copy, you need to make it about the reader, hence your prospective client. IMers are busy people, do not have much time and most tend to have a short attention span (my husband is one ). So get to the point as soon as you can.

As far as bullet points, although these do not look good inside articles you write for clients, they are definitely a PLUS. People need to see a list (bullet points draw the eye immediately to this list) in order to know WHAT they will get from you.
 
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  #3  
Old 04-16-2010, 09:45 PM
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Jim Gillum Jim Gillum is offline
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Depending on your targeted market......IM niche is different from others...(my opinion)
They want to hear about them.....a quick story to humanize you is not bad....

Studies have shown that the long sales letter converts better....
bullets can be incorporated to point to important benefits...

Bold headlines breaking up various parts make it easier for the prospect to read....

The trick (skill) is maintaining interest to make the prospect want to continue reading...
Hope that helps some...

PS...blog posts and sales letters have different rules....

Last edited by Jim Gillum; 04-16-2010 at 09:46 PM. Reason: word
 
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Old 04-18-2010, 07:29 PM
sarahberra sarahberra is offline
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Short and sweet is always the best way to go. Try to sell them in as few words as possible. People are very visual so the right pictures and words combined can lead to more sales. IF you are selling a money making program pictures of clickbank screen shots help a lot.
 
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Old 04-18-2010, 10:25 PM
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HTMLBasicTutor HTMLBasicTutor is offline
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Did you see this thread? 6 Ways To Brand Your Business With Content
 
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Old 04-21-2010, 10:27 AM
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A5lan1 A5lan1 is offline
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Focus on them mainly, but build a bond like 'I hate Spam as much as you.' Go with your testing results. Try using some hypnotic words and phrases. For example, repeating your sentences, like having the same calls to action throughout and fairly often. Words ending with a 'y' are hypnotic for example. Lists of benefits are very good. Put features after benefits though in my experience. :-)
 
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Old 04-21-2010, 10:00 PM
snakeair snakeair is offline
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Just the other night i created this thread that might be helpful to you in writing a "pitch page"

It may give you some idea's.

Pitch Page Design Success Using the Block Approach

A5lan1..... very good advice.
 
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Old 04-22-2010, 03:27 AM
millimark millimark is offline
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It depends on niche, you have to check some article related forums.There are lot of sites that buy articles check them.
 
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Old 04-22-2010, 06:21 AM
snakeair snakeair is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by millimark View Post
It depends on niche, you have to check some article related forums.There are lot of sites that buy articles check them.
Are you sure you read the thread creator's original reply and the other replies?
 
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Old 04-23-2010, 02:44 AM
jerome.mendoza jerome.mendoza is offline
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that's why i like this blog a lot..i learned lot more here!!!thanks guys!
 
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  #11  
Old 04-25-2010, 06:48 PM
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Melani Melani is offline
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Hi Guys,

Just wanted to say thankyou for all the advice given. I ended up completely re-writing my sales page and a promotional thread I'm using on another site to offer membership. So far I've gotten two new members to the site (only did the re-write of the promotional thread yesterday) so that's something I guess?

I find it really hard to stop myself from writing too much, but I've just told myself that short n sweet to get them in, then I can share more info and if they want to read it they can, if not, then no worries. My biggest aim is to get people in to the site as my goal is to help others promote and succeed. I'm not going to help anyone by boring them to death =p

Quote:
like having the same calls to action throughout and fairly often
That's one of the changes I made actually! And thank you for the links, I will read through them today!
 
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Old 05-07-2010, 10:19 AM
SBarnett SBarnett is offline
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Interesting points made here about keeping things short. This is something that can be difficult.

Time to think about our own content I think!
 
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Old 05-24-2010, 09:32 PM
snakeair snakeair is offline
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15 Proven Copywriting Techniques to Help Improve Your Sales Conversions

I found a related article that helped me understand how to improve a sales page. I do hope some of you will get something out of this article.

Quote:
Iím sure youíve heard the old adage, ďthe more things change, the more they stay the same.Ē

This is especially true, when it comes to copywriting techniques. The same timeless copywriting techniques that were so successful fifty years ago, are just as effective today. In fact, some of the greatest ads in the history of advertising were written during the 50ís, 60ís and 70ís.

This exciting time period was known as The Golden Age of Advertising.

In that regard, Iíve decided to compile a list of time-tested copywriting techniques to help improve your sales conversions. Please donít look for anything new here. Like I said earlier, these time-tested techniques are just as effective today as they were fifty years ago.

However, with the advent of the Internet, sometimes we need to be reminded of that fact.
Continued at: 15 Proven Copywriting Techniques

Please note this article was written by a V7N member.
 
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Old 05-25-2010, 05:12 AM
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The reason why you see a lot of sales copy talking about "them" is that it is usually because their readers should be able to identify with the writer. But that's the trick there.... that sense of identification should be strong. If not, you're in trouble. Always always write for your reader, for what they would relate to and understand.

Yes, BULLET IT!
 
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Old 05-25-2010, 07:33 AM
snakeair snakeair is offline
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15 Steps To Improve Your Copywriting

Well, i found another related article with very good information in it to soak in. I do hope everyone is paying attention to what's been mentioned in this thread already besides the articles that have been provided. Some good stuff in here. lol

Quote:
Good copywriting isnít just about writing.

Good copywriting is the process of convincing someone to take action.

Good copywriters convince a person to exchange their cash for a good or service. A poorly written landing page, however, can earn a back-click. In PPC, there is no click more expensive than the back-click.

Could your landing pages convert at a higher rate with a simple rewrite of your copy?

Letís look at the proven tricks and techniques great copywriters use to achieve high conversion rates.
Continued at: Improve Your Copywriting
 
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Old 05-25-2010, 05:16 PM
Komkom Komkom is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by snakeair View Post
Well, i found another related article with very good information in it to soak in. I do hope everyone is paying attention to what's been mentioned in this thread already besides the articles that have been provided. Some good stuff in here. lol



Continued at: Improve Your Copywriting
WOW thanks for the link Learned a lot!
 
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  #17  
Old 05-27-2010, 10:55 AM
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rafderamas rafderamas is offline
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Nope, don't just share your information to anybody.
 
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